Giving In
by mermaid12108
Summary: Dimitri's Point Of View of ShadowKiss **RICHELLE MEAD OWNS VAMPIRE ACADEMY, NOT ME**


**Chapter 1:**

Cold wind hit me in the face as I walked around the campus' grounds. Leafless tree branches swayed in the wind, clawing at the sides of the stone dorms like fingernails. The sun peeped at me from between lead-colored clouds. It was like any miserable winter day in Montana.

The sun's warmth was no match for the drifting snow in the air. I pulled my duster closer to my frame, trying to keep the icy air from seeping into my skin. Unfortunately it only worked a little, and I shivered as a blast of snow melted as it made contact with my skin.

I was on watch. It was night time for the Moroi, which was one of the easiest posts a guardian could get. Hardly anyone left their dorms. Well, except for the novices. Every single one of them appeared to have some form of insomnia. Luckily for me I hadn't ran into any sleep deprived students…yet.

Shifts of school guardians always patrolled the grounds while everyone else slept. Strigoi, the undead vampires who stalked living Moroi vampires like Lissa, didn't come out in sunlight, but students breaking rules-sneaking out of their dorms-were a problem night and day.

I walked on the newly lain snow; the only sound was the howling wind and the crunching snow beneath my feet. I tilted my head back, letting my human genes take in the sun's rays as I continued my patrol around the school's grounds. My head shot forward when I heard the faint footsteps of another person.

I was the only one who was assigned to patrol the novice's side of the campus. Other guardians were guarding the Moroi dorms and the front gate as well as the back gate. No one should be walking around my part of the area.

Tensing I realized it was a novice sneaking out, my first catch of the day. Quickly and silently I rounded a corner, towards the sounds of the footsteps and stopped short. I'd recognized that dark brown hair and stance anywhere.

Rose.

My heart quickened as I took her in. I had finally accepted our love for each other. That was after almost having an affair with Tasha Ozera. I had promised Rose after everything that happened in Spokane that I would never hurt her again. But that didn't mean we could start a relationship that wasn't strictly educational.

I sighed; wishing life weren't so damn complicated.

Rose continued to walk away from me, oblivious of my presence. A hint of a smile spread across my lips. Rose, always breaking the rules, when will you ever learn?

"Are you sleepwalking?" I asked.

She spun around, startled. I stood there watching her amused and curious as to why she was out here so late in the night. Plus it was kind of amusing to see her caught off by surprise. Hastily she ran a hand through her long hair, which was matted and sticking up everywhere from sleep.

"I was testing dorm security," she said. "It sucks."

A small smile played on my lips at the sound of that. I was about to reply when I noticed ha small shiver go through her. Her eyes weren't on me anymore; they were now clearly focused on my jacket. Which was doing a lot better job at keeping me warm.

I took in her attire then. Her blue robe draped around her, down to her fuzzy slippers that were now drenched from her walk in the snow. I may not be able to have a relationship with her, but that didn't stop me from worrying about her safety.

"You must be freezing. Do you want my coat?" I asked ready to take it off at her command.

She shook her head. "I'm fine. What are you doing out here. Are you testing security too?"

"I am security. This is my watch." I said.

"Well, good work." She said. "I'm glad I was able to help test your awesome skills. I should be going now."

She turned to walk back the way she came. Her eyes hurt and betrayed, and looking into them brought me back to the day in Spokane. When I and too many guardians to count went in search for her and four other students from St. Vladimirs. Mason, Mia and Eddie had ran from the ski resort in search for Stirgoi. They were revengeful for what the vampires did to the two royal families in the past and planned to kill them all.

Rose had heard about it and took off, not bothering to tell me about it. And in the process she wound up taking Christian with her as well. I thought at first it was to get her boyfriend Mason back saftly. But really it was about saving all of their lives; she had realized how stupid they were being and wanted to put some sense into them.

On their trip back the five of them ran into humans who had helped the Strigoi. Rose and the other novices had put up a good fight, but in the end they had lost and were held captive in a basement under a house. There the Strigoi had tortured Eddie and teased the Moroi.

Eventually after two days of their captivation Rose had the idea of using offensive magic. This was strictly prohibited and looked down upon. But that didn't stop Christian from using fire to free them. When Rose and Mason had thought the cost was clear they left the basement. Only to run into the two Strigoi that lived there.

Rose had got everyone out into the sunlight, leaving herself to die. She had put up a very good fight, but not good enough for Mason who in the end got killed because of his love for Rose. We had found them shortly after that.

Mason's actions was the exact reason why I didn't want my love for Rose to get in the way. I didn't want a risk like that to happen where we lost Lissa because of some romance between Rose and I.

"Rose-" I caught her arm, and despite all the wind and chill and slush, a flash of heat shot through me. I released her with a start, she looked up at me shocked. As though she'd felt it too. "What are you really doing out here?" I used my strict voice then, wanting a clear answer out of her.

"I had a bad dream. I wanted some air."

For a moment my mind flashed back to my earlier thought of Spokane. I quickly pushed it away. "And so you just rushed out. Breaking the rules didn't even cross your mind-and neither did putting on a coat."

"Yeah," she said. "That pretty much sums it up."

"Rose, Rose. You never change. Always jumping in without thinking."

She furrowed her brow, a frown spread on her lips. "That's not true," she protested. "I've changed a lot."

Blood…Rose screaming…dead bodies…Spokane…flashed through my mind all at once. And it was then that I realized never before had I been so scared in my life. Scared for Rose's safety, afraid that she will never be the same. And the death of her best friend would scar her forever.

And as I had predicted it has given her a darker outlook on life. As well as everyone here at St. Vladimir's Academy, but Rose especially.

She noticed my frown as my face shifted unpleasantly at the thoughts of what happened three weeks ago. "Well, don't worry. My birthday's coming up. As soon as I'm eighteen, I'll be an adult, right? I'm sure I'll wake up that morning and be all mature and stuff."

I softened into a smile at her attempts of making a joke to cheer me up. "Yes, I'm sure. What is it, about a month?"

"Thirty-one days." She announced primly.

"Not that you're counting."

She shrugged, which made me laugh.

"I suppose you've made a birthday list too. Ten pages? Single-spaced?" Ranked by order of priority?" I was still smiling. It was one of my relaxed and amused ones that rarely came out.

She smiled and opened her mouth to reply but then quickly shut is as her face turned from happy to sad and hurt.

"No." She said in a small voice. "No list."

I tilted my head to get a better look at her, making some of my shoulder-length hair blow into my face. My hair was brown, like Roses', but not nearly as dark. Hers looked black at times. I brushed the unruly strands aside, only to have them immediately blow back into my face. "I can't believe you don't want anything. It's going to be a boring birthday

"It doesn't matter." She said.

"What do you-" I stopped, I understood then. From the look in her eyes I could tell exactly what she meant. She wanted freedom. Being eighteen meant we could be together, it meant we could be seen as a couple in public and not be questioned. It was something she and I both wanted more than anything in the world. Yet we couldn't have.

I understood. I always did. It was part of why we connected like we did, in spite of the seven-year gap in our ages. We'd fallen for each other last fall when I'd been her combat instructor. As things heated up between us, we'd found we had more things to worry about than just age. We were both going to be protecting Lissa when she graduated, and we couldn't let our feelings for each other distract us when she was our priority.

I didn't think our feelings for each other were ever really going to go away. We'd both had moments of weakness, moments that led to stolen kisses or saying things we really shouldn't have. After she had escaped the Strigoi, I had told her that I loved her and admitted I could never be with anyone else because of that. But we still couldn't be together either and we had both slipped back into our old roles of keeping away from each other and pretending that our relationship was strictly professional.

Looking down at Rose I could see her shiver, pulling her robe closer to her. I wanted to change the subject, wanted to stop thinking about our love life and start taking action on the now. "You can deny it all you want, but I know you're freezing. Let's go inside. I'll take you through the back."

Astonishment flashed in her eyes. And I knew it was at my abrupt change in subject rather than me sneaking her around the campus. "I think you're the one who's cold." She teased, as we walked around the side of the dorm where the novice guardians lived. "Shouldn't you be all tough and stuff, since you're from Siberia?"

"I don't think Siberia's exactly what you imagine."

"I imagine it as an arctic wasteland." She said truthfully.

"Then it's definitely not what you imagine."

"Do you miss it?" she asked glancing back at me as I walked behind her.

"All the time." I said my heart aching for my hometown. "Sometimes I wish-"

"Belikov!"

A voice was carried on the wind from behind us. "I knew this was going to happen." I muttered, too low for Rose to hear. I shoved her further around the corner she'd just rounded. "Stay out of sight."

She ducked down behind a bank of holly trees that flanked the building. They didn't have any berries. I turned from her then, putting on my mask as I walked up to Alberta, who was standing in the middle of the courtyard. She was dressed in all black: black jeans, black shirt and a black leather jacket.

"You're not on watch." I said trying to keep the surprise out of my voice as I stopped a few feet from her.

"No, but I need to talk to you. It'll just take a minute. We need to shuffle some of the watches while you're at the trial."

"I figured." I said trying to keep Victor's trial secret from a eavesdropping Rose. "It's going to put a strain on everyone else-bad timing."

"Yes, well, the queen runs on her own schedule." Alberta said frustrated as she ran a hand through her short hair. "Celeste will take your watches, and she and Emil will divide up your training times."

I knew she was referring to the field experience starting tomorrow. Six weeks of hands-on-practice for the novices. They'd have no classes and would get to protect Moroi night and day while the guardians tested them. "Training times" meant my participation in that.

"They say they don't mind the extra work," she continued, "but I was wondering if you could even things out and take some of their shifts before you leave?"

"Absolutely." I said words short and stiff. I was trying to keep Alberta from saying anything that would tip Rose off. She didn't need to know about Victor's trial. It would worry her even more. And knowing her, she would be angrier at the fact that she and Lissa can't go rather than him being proved innocent. This wouldn't happen.

"Thanks I think that'll help." She sighed. Her face thoughtful. "I wish I knew how long this trial was going to be. I don't want to be away that long. You'd think it'd be a done deal with Dashkov, but now I hear the queen's getting cold feet about imprisoning a major royal."

"Yeah. Thanks."

She walked away from me, and I stood in the snow watching her. I sighed and called out to her. I didn't want her to think I was some mean teacher. "Rose?" She glanced back. "I'm sorry," I said and then paused. My regret fading as I apologized. "And you'd better bring the keys back tomorrow."

She turned away and kept going.

Chapter 2:

I walked silently across the campus, nodding at the guardian taking over my watch post. The snow threatened to seep into my shirt so I pulled the duster closer to my chest. Thanking God that I had remembered to bring it.

But according to Rose: I was nothing without my western wardrobe. She had told me that the other day and I laughed at that. To her I was like some old cowboy ready for a shootout. I smiled as I made my way to the main office where Kirova and Alberta were waiting for me.

I approached the tall European-type building. It's massive shape casting long, dark and spooky looking shadows along the unbroken snow. Seeing the ground like this, untouched and not full of life brought me back a month ago when Rose and I had gone to the Badica house to see Art.

A shiver went up and down my spine as I remembered that day clearly. Seeing one of the greatest guardians lying dead on the floor made me cringe. And the way Tamara's face looked as she took in her mentor made me realize that this could happen to anyone.

I'm sure Art put up a good fight, but not good enough. And for her to witness someone close to her that made her who she was today, dead below her feet. Well, I promised myself that I would never let that happen to Rose. I would never leave her, never hurt her again.

I don't know how Tamara did it; I'm positive if it were Rose looking down at me lying lifeless on the floor she would have punched someone. Or rather done something stupid, like avenge my death, and get killed doing it.

My heart squeezed painfully at the thought of Rose running after my killer and getting killed herself.

Shaking my head I entered the building. The warm blast blew away any of my last thoughts and brought me back to reality. That would never happen, we were here, safe, and I will always have Rose.

Alberta was sitting in one of the lobby's chairs reading a book. She glanced up when the door shut behind me. Smiling she stood up, placing the book on the coffee table next to the chair, she walked towards Kirova's office.

Taking in a deep breath I entered the room. Kirova was a birdlike woman, who liked to have her reading glasses perched on the edge of her long pointy nose. Nodding out of respect I stood in the middle of the room next to Alberta, waiting for Kirova to gesture for us to sit down.

She didn't.

Instead she ushered me forward, I did as I was told, walking around her massive desk to stare at the computer screen. There was a list of times, dates and names before me, as I read through it all I recognized what this was.

It was the guardians new schedule; due to Victor's trial. Myself and several other guardians that went on the rescue trip were going to it.

Victor still wasn't officially jailed yet. The queen had yet to assign a trial date, and didn't like the fact that she was locking up a royal, and a huge one at that.

But looking at the computer screen I could visually see what the next six weeks would be like. And like Alberta had said, Celeste took my watches, she and Emil divided up my training times. Leaving me with less work to do and giving them more.

"This will be the guardian's schedule from here until Victor's trial is finished." Kirova said as she scrolled down the screen. "Is there anything you want to change Belikov?"

I looked at her astonished, never before had the Headmistress asked a person lower than her to make up the schedule. I was honored but curious as to why. In answer she ticked her fingers against the hardwood desk, clearly annoyed with me being quiet.

I cleared my throat. "I see a few fillings I can do."

I took hold of the mouse and did several changes, adding and taking away a few so that Celeste and Emil wouldn't have so much work. When I was done Kirova nodded and looked it over, her fingers still clicking on the wood.

Eventually she saved it and sent it to the printer. The hum of the machine came to life, easing the strange silence in the room. I relaxed a little as Alberta and I went over to collect the massive amount of papers.

"I want those all passed out to the guardians." Kirova said pointing a long skinny finger in our direction. "And don't mess it up." She gave us a level look before turning back to her computer, apparently this conversation was over.

I hadn't realized how cold Kirova's room had been until I re-entered the lobby, the heater nearly burned my skin as w

Alberta told me that we would pass them out after the first day of the field experience. Reluctantly I went back to my dorm, happy to get some sleep in my schedule.

I was in the gym before anyone else, as usual. The guardians lined the walls and stood in the middle of the gym. While the others set up the bleachers that the novices would be sitting on in a few moments. I helped Alberta pass out the new schedules before the first of the novices started showing up.

Eventually more and more started to arrive, and soon the bleachers were packed with excited and anxious students. I spotted Rose among them, sitting next to Eddie. I smiled sadly at that, both of them will never be the same, they had both lost their best friend.

When the last of the students had arrived Alberta's voice cut through the murmur of the novice's conversation's. The instructors as well as myself had gathered in front of the bleachers and had formed a line. Alberta was trying to call them to attention. The crowed eventually fell silent.

"All right," she began. Alberta was in her fifties, wiry and tough. "You all know why you're here." It was amazing, they had become so silent that Alberta's voice rang through the gym. "This is the most important day of your education before you take your final trials. Today you will find out which Moroi you've been placed with. Last week, you were given a booklet with the full details of how the next six weeks will play out. I trust you've all read it by now." I knew that was true, every single one of them needed to read it if they wanted to graduate. "Just to recap, Guardian Alto will highlight the main rules of this exercise."

She handed the clipboard to Guardian Stan Alto. "Here we go," said Stan gruffly. "You'll be on duty six days a week. This is actually a treat for you guys. In the real world you're usually working every day. You will accompany your Moroi everywhere-to class, to their dorms, to their feedings. Everything. It's up to you to figure out how you fit into their lives. Some Moroi interact with their guardians just like friends; some Moroi prefer you to be more of an invisible ghost who doesn't talk to them. Every situation is differ, and you two will have to find a way to work it out to best ensure their safety.

"Attacks may come at any time, anywhere, and we'll be dressed in all black when it happens. You should always be on your guard. Remember, even though you'll obviously know it's us doing the attacking and not a real Strigoi, you should respond as though your lives are in terrible, immediate danger. Don't be afraid of hurting us. Some of you, I'm sure, won't have any qualms about getting us back for past grievances." Students in the crowd giggled at this. "But some of you may feel like you have to hold back, for fear of getting in trouble. Don't. You'll get in more trouble if you do hold back. Don't worry. We can take it."

He flipped to the next page of his clipboard. "You will be on duty twenty-four hours a day for your six-day cycles, but be aware that although Strigoi attacks are rare in daylight, they aren't impossible indoors, and you will not necessarily be 'safe' during these times."

His statement reminded me of the Badica house and the other recent Strigoi attacks. As well as Spokane. Rose screaming at me, the smell of blood, and the terrible heartache at that scene. My heart squeezed at the flash back, causing me to come back to the present.

When Stan finished, he handed the clipboard to Alberta. "Okay." She said. "I'm going to call out your names one by one and announce who you're paired with. At that time, come down here to the floor, and Guardian Chase will give you a packet containing information about your Moroi's schedule, past, etcetera."

Everyone in the crowed straightened up as she flipped through the papers. Students whispered. And I was reminded of my first time of field experience. They acted just as we had.

"Ryan Ayleworth." I could see Eddie and Rose flinch in surprise, and instantly I knew why. Ashford, that was Mason's last name, he was always the first to be called, but not anymore. "You are assigned to Camille Conta."

Ryan sat in the front row and grinned broadly as he walked over to take his packet. The Contas were an up-and-coming royal family. Camille was known as cute, and all the boys wanted in good with her. Ryan was the lucky one.

"Dean Barnes," she said next. "You have Jesse Zeklos."

Alberta kept reading names, and finally she reached the one I was dreading already.

I had been doing a lot of thinking over the past few weeks, and had made a last request before the ceremony. Changing Lissa's guardian from Rose to Eddie. I had insisted it would help Rose with her training. And that had made Alberta consider. She knew I was right, and it would provide a great experience for the both of them.

"Edison Castile," Alberta announced. "Vasilisa Dragomir."

I glanced up at Eddie and Rose. They were both frozen, eyes wide, mouths open. Eventually sense came to him because he stood up with that same horrified look on his face as he turned to look back at Rose, face white.

My eyes traveled back up to Rose. Her face lined with confusion, and soon enough rage started to take over as she processed what had just happened. I silently coached her to not shoot up and run down to Alberta and demand what happened.

Eventually she took a deep breath, closing her eyes. It was at that moment that my chest lightened and I was proud of her for holding herself together. Although things weren't going to get better for her in a few minutes.

Alberta continued reading off names. When she got to the H's that's when I started to panic again. "Rosemarie Hathaway, Christian Ozera."

Rose didn't move, she stared at Alberta, as if she forgot her name. A few students around her turned around and coached her on, eager to get to their name. But she was dumbfounded. Her eyes as wide as I had ever seen them.

A few moments later, Alberta also realized she wasn't moving. She looked up from her clipboard with annoyance scanning the crowd. "Rose Hathaway?"

Someone elbowed her, pulling her out of her dream like trance. She stood up and walked down the bleachers, robotlike. She headed toward Guardian Chase, who handed her packet and a practice stake meant to "kill" the adult guardians with, and she stepped out of the way for the next person.

She opened the packet as if in disbelief of what had happened. She continued to stand by the door, waiting as more and more novices left to find their assignments. As more names were called, many of the novices lingered around the gym, talking to their friends and showing off their packets. Rose hovered near one group, obviously waiting for her chance to come up and yell at one of the adults.

When the last novice had been assigned his Moroi, Stan shouted above the din for us to move on to the next stage of the assignment and tried to herd out the novices. I walked over to Alberta whispering so no one else could hear.

"Rose is going to be very upset about her assignment."

Alberta shook her head. "It's for the best I told you."

I sighed. "Here she comes now. Try not to notice anything's wrong."

She nodded. About to say something when Rose approached and stood staring at us. When we glanced at her she held up her packet and pointed. "What's this?"

Alberta did a great job at making her face look blank and confused. I'm pretty sure I looked the same, although knowing Rose, I wouldn't be surprised if she saw past my mask. "It's your assignment, Miss Hathaway," Alberta said.

"No," Rose said through gritted teeth. "It's not. This is somebody else's assignment."

"The assignments in your field experience aren't optional," she told Rose sternly. "Just as your assignments in the real world won't be. You can't pick who you protect based on whim and mood, not here and certainly not after graduation."

"But after graduation, I'm going to be Lissa's guardian!" Rose exclaimed. "Everyone knows that. I'm supposed to have her for this thing."

"I know it's an accepted idea that you'll be together after graduation, but I do not recall any mandatory rulings that say you're 'supposed' to have her or anyone here at school. You take who you're assigned."

"Christian?" Rose through her packet on the floor. "You're out of your mind if you think I'm guarding him."

I knew Rose was out of control. And staring into her eyes I could see a weird darkness, not quite anger, and not quite madness either. But something in between. And I knew her well enough that something small as this shouldn't have caused this sudden outburst. But the darkness vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

"Rose!" I snapped, joining the conversation at last. She flinched. "You're out of line. You do not speak to your instructors like that."

"Sorry." She said with reluctance. "But this is stupid. Nearly as stupid as not bring us to Victor Dashkov's trial."

I flinched at that. Alberta blinked. "How did you know-Never mind. We'll deal with that later. For now, this is your assignment, and you need to do it."

Eddie suddenly appeared near rose. His voice filled with apprehension. "Look…I don't mind…We can switch…"

Alberta turned her stony gaze from Rose to him. "No, you certainly cannot. Vasilisa Dragomir is your assignment." She looked back at Rose. "And Christian Ozera is yours. End of discussion."

"This is stupid!" Rose repeated frustrated. "Why should I waste my time with Christian? Lissa's the on I'm going to be with when I graduate. Seems like if you want me to be able to do a good job, you should have me practice with her."

"You will do a good job with her." I replied. "Because you know her. And you have your bond. But somewhere, someday, you could end up with a different Moroi. You need to learn how to guard someone with whom you have absolutely no experience."

"I have experience with Christian." She grumbled back. "That's the problem. I hate him."

I was surprised to hear that. After all she was the one who kept four of our Academy's students safe. Even if one out of the four did die. She did her best to keep them safe.

"So much the better," said Alberta. "Not everyone you protect will be your friend. Not everyone you protect will be someone you like. You need to learn this."

"I need to learn how to fight Strigoi," she said. "I've learned that in class." She fixed us with a sharp look. "And I've done it in person."

"There's more to this job than the technicalities, Miss Hathaway. There's a whole personal aspect-a bedside manner, if you will-that we don't touch on much in class. We teach you how to deal with the Strigoi. You need to learn how to deal with the Moroi yourselves. And you in particular need to deal with someone who has not been your best friend for years."

"You also need to learn what it's like to work with someone when you can't instantly sense that they're in danger," I added.

I had observed after Spokane that part of the reason why Mason had gotten hurt was that Rose didn't know what his exact thoughts were. What he was about to do. And because of that dependant she has on Lissa lead to his death.

"Right," agreed Alberta. "that's a handicap. If you want to be a good guardian-if you want to be an excellent guardian-then you need to do as we say."

Rose opened her mouth to fight us, but I quickly cut her off.

"Working with another Moroi will also help keep Lissa alive." I said.

That shut her down. It was the only thing that could have, and I knew she knew that. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"Lissa's got a handicap too-you. If she never has a chance to learn what it's like to be guarded by someone without a psychic connection, she could be at greater risk if attacked. Guarding someone is really a two-person relationship. This assignment for your field experience is as much for her as for you."

She stayed silent processing what I had just told her.

"And," added Alberta. "It's the only assignment you're going to get. If you don't take it, then you opt out of the field experience."

Rose knew there was no way out of this if she wanted to graduate. And knowing her she did badly. I could see it in her eyes. The determination and the fire that I loved so much about her, and that made me fall for her for the first place.

Reluctantly she picked up the packet. "Fine," she said icily. "I'll do this. But I want it noted that I'm doing this against my will."

"I think we already figured that out, Miss Hathaway," remarked Alberta dryly.

"Whatever. I still think it's a horrible idea, and you eventually will too." Rose said as she stalked off across the gym before any of us could reply.

I silently shook my head, Rose, always getting the last word in a conversation by storming off.

Chapter 3:

After the rest of the novices had left the guardians and I got together reading over the new schedule. Each of them nodding in agreement as they looked the assignments over. My "attack" would be the first one of the day. And Emil was my "Strigoi in crime". Smiling down at the white paper before me I thought of which student will be the lucky one.

After looking over and answering questions Alberta dismissed us. The guardians dispersed as I walked into the cool night air. The snow crunched below my feet as I made my way to my dorm. It was necessary for all guardians to wear black during the field experience.

This wardrobe helps disguise us and make us appear more invisible amongst the shadows. Most guardians wear black all the time, both on duty and off. It's the only "weapon" we have that helps us become immune to the Strigoi's strong eyesight.

After getting dressed in my black leather duster, black pants and a tight knitted black shirt I made my way through the school. Classes had just started so I had enough time to meet up with Emil before attacking someone.

We walked in the shadows of the trees, weaving through them reminded me of the day myself and several other guardians set out to save Lissa from Victor. Except this time we didn't have the sun beating down on our heads.

One of the last bells rang then. Emil and I knew we had to attack soon, and

Ryan interrupted the fight when he lunged at me with his stake. He almost "killed" me before I grabbed his neck. Indicating that I cracked it and he was now dead.

Eddies face twisted at this sight, his eyes turning a dark color. His mouth was set in a grim line as if I really were a Strigoi.

If it weren't for the attack in Spokane I would have thought Eddie's expression and determination to kill me was because he wanted a good grade. But seeing his eyes I knew it was much more than that. Spokane had scarred him. He was revengeful for his friend's death and what the Strigoi did to him.

I didn't blame him, he was so young and had witnessed too much. Just as Rose had.

I realized what I had just done, I "killed" Ryan the same way the Strigoi in Spokane had killed Mason. I silently cursed myself for my actions; for what I had just done to Eddie.

I pushed these thoughts away when both he and Shane attacked, they barely rocked me but it was enough to make me stagger back. This was the open window they needed. And they knew it.

Before I could block them they placed the stake over my heart, indicating that I was now "dead". I smiled up at the now panting boys.

Emil offered a hand and helped me stand up as I rubbed the part of my head that Eddie had hit. We praised Shane for being fast on his feet and Eddie for realizing they had to treat this as a group endeavor rather than one-on-one trials.

Ryan was chastised for not paying attention to his Moroi and not acting upon impulse when he saw the danger Camille was in. So much for liking her…

Kyle mentioned Rose's efforts in staying behind and keeping an eye out for both her and Eddie's Moroi. This shocked me; I hadn't even known she was here, and was surprised that her impulsiveness didn't take her over and make her join the fight.

We nodded approval in Rose's direction. She smiled as Eddie approached her and their Moroi. They high-fived and I shook my head as I turned away and left.

As I continued to walk around the campus I couldn't help but think of the way Eddie's eyes bore into mine. For a moment I truly thought I was a Strigoi. Because of the hatred and longing that Eddie's eyes held. I shivered at that, never before had I though myself as being a threat and the enemy…

Chapter 4:

As I make my way across the campus I couldn't help but chastise myself over what I had just done. How stupid it was of me to "kill" Ryan that way… And as I walked within the long casting shadows of the trees images of Eddie's face flashed through my brain.

The way his face fell, once full of skill and determination, was replaced by hatred, longing and most of all revenge. Never before had I seen something like that, even in a guardian twice my age. What I saw in Eddie today was brought by a simple act that happened in Spokane.

And it was my entire fault.

I was assigned another attack in a few more minutes, so I knew I needed to get my act together if I wanted to give these novice's a challenge.

Straightening up I took a deep breath of the midnight air. The moon was bright enough to eliminate the path in front of me with its silvery glow. It was the final period of the day and within that period I was issued to attack.

I cleared my head of any thoughts from earlier as I made my way to the classrooms on eastside campus. As I drew closer I looked around to make sure no other guardians had chosen this spot. Satisfied to see none I sulked in the shadows moving as if I were a snake gliding across a black lake.

When I reached the classroom I looked through the window. Novices were lined against the wall trying their best to look like professional guardians. Though I could tell by their stature that their feet were killing them after a long day of standing.

I smiled as I picked the farthest window, the one that was hard to see from the angle they were in. Quietly I unlatched the lock and slipped the window upward, just enough to squeeze through.

There I waited…

The teacher was lecturing the students on a new math lesson. Most of the classmates paid attention, while the rest pretended to be somewhat interested, although I could tell from the dazed look in their eyes they were fighting to stay awake.

Eventually the tiredness in a redheaded boy gave in; he passed out on his math book. It didn't take long for the teacher to notice, and when she did she turned to him and yelled so loud it even made me jump. The whole class turned their focus on the now aroused kid. Even the novices standing in the back.

That's when I made my move.

Sliding silently through the windows open frame I managed to get on my feet and take a couple of steps before the novices turned around.

I grabbed the first Moroi I could. Which happened to be a blonde headed girl with big blue eyes. She screamed, not faking her fear as she thrashed around in my grasp.

The teacher's high pitch voice stopped, it fell silent as all eyes turned in my direction. Even the novice's in the back seemed startled by my sudden attack.

What I guessed to be her guardian came after me then. He was about six feet and packed full of muscle. As all dhampir's were. He managed to land a blow on me as I pushed the girl behind, keeping her from his gasp.

This pissed him off even further, causing him to shout orders at the other novice's behind him. A redheaded girl came running forward, while another disappeared from my line of sight.

They had obviously thought of an attack plan. And it was a good one at that. They gave me the disadvantage of using my blind spots. No one had eyes in the back of their head, unfortunately.

The girl sided with the boy as we squared off, my hand still firmly grasped on the Moroi's wrist. The redheaded girl lashed out at me, almost landing a blow before I "killed" her. She fell on the ground and laid still.

The Moroi's guardian stopped and lunged out at me as well. I threw a punch in his direction, meaning to deflect his attack. But he was just as quick and caught hold of my hand in mid air. He had a strong grip on me, and as much as I fought back he wouldn't let go of that hand. My struggles made him smile.

Furious I was about to let go of the girl to break free of the novice's grasp when a blow landed on my back, causing me to fall down. Following that was a sharp pain in the head. And before I knew it I felt the cool surface of the stake on my back, right where my heart was.

I let go of the Moroi and kneeled on one knee. Smiling up at the boy who had grabbed hold of my hand. "Great job Stow."

He laughed and offered a hand up. I took it.

After a few minutes of congratulating the girl who had managed to knock me down I left. I was halfway across campus when I ran into Alberta. I would have nodded and continued on my way if it weren't for the troubled look in her eye.

Catching hold of her arm I willed her to look at me. "What's wrong?"

She looked around, face falling even more. "It's Rose."

I perked up at that, ready to run to her rescue if it weren't for Alberta's reassuring squeeze on my shoulder. "She's fine, it's just…well…she was sent to the Headmistress's office for not defending her and Castile's Moroi."

My god Rose…what have you done now?

Chapter 4:

It turns out as we made our way to the office Rose's actions were turned to the schools guardian's disciplinary committee. This was very rare. A novice had to do something pretty serious to piss them off to get that sort of response. Like willfully endangering a Moroi.

Shaking my head as we made our way to the guardian's office I tried to imagine what Rose did to put herself in this situation. And all of her actions didn't seem to fit.

Setting a Moroi on fire… nope.

Staking a Moroi instead of her attacker… hell no.

Handing her Moroi over to the Strigoi… no.

Flipping off Christian and walking away letting him face the attacker…mmm, no Rose would never.

Then what could it possibly be that Rose did this time? She's done some stupid things while I've been around but in the end they were for the good. Not for the bad. So hearing that Rose did this kind of thing upsets and puzzles me.

Well I guess we'll have to find out when we arrive.

The buildings in view now, the way the trees surround it makes it hard for one traveling to make out that there's a building ahead, unless you're looking for a small medieval one of course.

We entered a small meeting room with a large table in the center of it. I rarely come here, guarding Lissa and training Rose are my specialties now.

The committee felt it only fair to kick me off because I was Rose's mentor. I think it's because they assume Rose will be the next novice to step inside this room. And in many ways they're right. This only makes me more furious.

Quietly Alberta and I sneak into the room; the guardians are already seated around the oak table. Waiting for Rose's arrival. I wasn't surprised to see that she was yet again late.

And that's a good sign.

After taking my place in the back, Alberta walks around the long table taking her seat at the head of the table. Watching the door, waiting for Rose to arrive.

Minutes pass by, making me think she's managed to escape this punishment. I'm about to speak up and tell the others that we should look for her when the door bangs open and in comes Stan, following him a pissed off Rose.

Her eye catches mine as she takes her seat at the far end of the table. Her eyes swimming with questions and hope that I will get her out of this one. Not likely.

After a brief report on what happened from Stan the rest of the committee turn their attention towards Rose. At first everyone is silent, not knowing what to say to this simple act. I don't even know what to say to it. And I know Rose.

Stan nods when he's finished and walks off to stand next to me. It takes my whole will not to turn around and demand to tell me the truth. Instead my eyes fall on Rose's catching her eye, I will her to understand that I will do everything against my power to get her out of this. I know Rose she will never do this.

After about a minute Alberta speaks up asking Rose for her side of the story. After she finishes with the same story reported by Stan Alberta starts questioning her.

Things like: did you do it on purpose, who was with you, why did you do it, why would you freeze? I could tell al the questions were starting to get to Rose. The way her eyes darkened, her hands curled up into fists, her back hunched over like she was about to attack.

This made me stiffen as well, ready to jump on Rose if she tried anything stupid. Fortunately she didn't move, just sat there like a statue ready to explode with anger.  
"For the last time," she growled, "I didn't do it on purpose."

She was facing a full on committee now, all eyes turned to her as her voice got deeper with anger. Alberta, Emile, and Celeste sat at the long table, looking imposing, while Rose continued to sit in that single chair.

"Miss Hathaway," said Alberta, fully in her strict-captain mode, which was a different turnaround from the woman I just saw looking frantically around. "You must know why we have a hard time believing that."

Celeste nodded. "Guardian Alto saw you. You refused to protect tow Moroi-including the one whose protection you were specifically assigned to."

"I didn't refuse!" Rose exclaimed, her pitch in voice brought me back to the first day she arrived at the Academy. Only she was facing Kirovia and the possibility of being expelled from school. "I…fumbled."

I looked at her shocked. Stopped in mid thought. Never before has Rose fumbled. I know from personal experience in the gym with her. I know from the way she watches Lissa, even under the safety of the wards. I seen the way she looked when we rescued her from the Strigoi house in Spokane. I know Rose well enough to testify that she has never "fumbled" in her life.

Everyone at the table seemed to be sharing the same thoughts. We all saw her in that house of Strigoi. The way she risked her life to save her friends. The way she went ravage and killed two Strigoi with a dull blade.

Stan seemed to be thinking the same thing because he stepped forward, in my field of vision. "That wasn't a fumble," he glanced at Alberta for permission to speak. "May I?" She nodded, and he turned back to Rose. "If you'd blocked or attacked me and then messed up, that would be a fumble. But you didn't b lock. You didn't attack. You didn't even try. You just stood there like a statue and did nothing."

I could tell by the way Rose's eyes glared at him she was outraged. And I knew why. The simple thought that she would put a Moroi's life in danger pissed her off. She was capable of killing Strigoi, she never would put her life before a Moroi's. Spokane proved that.

"Why am I getting in trouble for messing up?" she asked tightly. "I mean, I saw Ryan mess up earlier. He didn't get in trouble. Isn't that the point of this whole exercise? Practice? If we were perfect, you'd already have unleashed us upon the world!" Her voice was rising at every word. Making me want to run over and protect her from what was about to come next.

"weren't you listening?" Said Stan, and by his tone I could tell he was just as upset as Rose was. And was the only one showing his emotions, besides Rose of course. But that doesn't count, she's reckless and that means to unleash every emotion she has on the world. "You didn't mess up, because 'messing up' implies that you have to actually do something."

"Okay, then. I froze." She looked at him defiantly, not letting go of his gaze. "Does that count as messing up? I cracked under the pressure and blanked out. It turns out I wasn't prepared. The moment came, and I panicked. It happens to novices all the time."

I cringed at her words. Knowing that they were the wrong ones to place down. Because even a person who fought real Strigoi, and came back to tell the story, never freeze.

"To a novice who has already killed Strigoi?" Asked Emil. He was from Romania, his accent was a bit thicker than most at the Academy. "It seems unlikely."

Rose 's eyes turned into dark slits, her way of showing how irritated she was. She scanned the room, landing on everyone's face but mine, giving them her all. "Oh, I see." Oh dear. "After one incident, I'm not expected to be an expert Strigoi killer? I can't panic or be afraid or anything? Makes sense. Thanks, guys. Fair. Real fair." She slumped back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest.

Alberta sighed and leaned forward. "We're arguing semantics. Technicalities aren't the point here. What's important is that this morning, you made it very clear you did not want to guard Christian Ozera. In fact.I think you even said you wanted us to be sure we knew that you were doing it against your will and that we'd soon see what a horrible idea it was." Realization flashed in her eyes, knowing that what she had said earlier was true. Alberta saw this as well. "And then, when your first test comes around, we find you completely and utterly unresponsive."

I sucked in a breath. That will do it for Rose.

I knew I was right when she nearly flew out of her c hair. "That's what this is about? You think I didn't protect him because of some kind of weird revenge thing?"

All three of them stared at her Expectantly.

"You aren't exactly known for calmly and gracefully accepting things you don't like," Alberta replied wryly.

This time, Rose did stand up, pointing her finger at her accusingly. "Not true. I have followed every rule Kirova laid down for me since coming back here. I've gone to every practice and obeyed every curfew. There's no reason I'd do this as some kind of revenge! What good would it do? Sta-Guardian Alto wasn't going to really hurt Christian, So it's not like I'd get to see him punched or anything. The only thing I would accomplish is getting dragged into the middle of something like this and possibly face removal from the field experience."

You are facing removal from the field experience," replied Celeste flatly.

My heart sank at that, pulling Rose out was unacceptable. We needed more novices, girls at that. They can't just throw a talent like hers away.

"Oh" Rose said as she sat down. Hearing her, wounded and defeated. Well I couldn't take it anymore.

"She has a point. If she were going to protest or take revenge, she'd do it in a different way."

Celeste frowned at me. "Yes, but after the scene she made this morning…"

I took a few steps forward and stood beside Rose. I had a flash of déjà vu, back to when Lissa and Rose had returned to the Academy last autumn. Headmistress Kirova had nearly expelled Rose, and I had stood up for her then too.

"This is all circumstantial," I said. "Regardless of how suspicious you think it looks, there's no proof. Removing her from the experience-and essentially ruining her graduation-is a bit extreme without any certainties."

The committee looked thoughtful, and Rose was looking hopefully in Alberta's way. She had the most power here. She would decide if Rose can stay or not. I hope she chose for Rose to stay, knowing I tried my best to defend her.

She beckoned Celeste and Emile toward her, and the other two guardians leaned closer. They had a whispered conference. Alberta gave a resigned nod, and the others leaned back.

I could feel the way my body shook as sweat dripped down my face. Come on, come on.

"Miss Hathaway, do you have anything you'd like to say before we tell you our conclusions?"

Looking down at Rose I could tell that she was already condoling up a million things to spit back in their faces. The sweat increased. Minutes passed before she responded.

"No, Guardian Petrov. Nothing more to add."

"All right," she said wearily. "Here's what we've decided. You're lucky you have Guardian Belikov to advocate for you, or this decision might have been different. We're giving you the benefit of the doubt. You'll go on with the field experience and continue to guard Mr. Ozera. You'll just be on a probation of sorts."

I could hear the sigh of relief coming from both Rose and I. "That's okay. Thank you."

"And," she added. Uh-oh. "Because the suspicion isn't entirely removed, you'll be spending your day oof this week doing community service."

Rose jumped out of her chair again. "What?"

I reflexively wrapped a hand around her wrist, controlling her to stay put, as if she were a dog. "Sit down," I murmured in her ear as I tugged her toward the chair. "take what you can get."

"If that's a problem, we can make it next week too." Warned Celeste. "And the next five after that."

Rose sat down obediently and shook her head. "I'm sorry. Thank you."

The hearing dispersed.

Alberta ordered Rose to find Christian but I stepped in between. Asking her if I could talk to Rose alone, novice business I think I said. She agreed, no doubt hoping I'd set Rose on the straight and narrow.

The room emptied, I sighed of relief, finally able to breathe. I walked over to a small table that held a water dispenser, coffee, other beverages, but I was looking for a specific one.

"You want some hot chocolate?" I asked.

By the hesitation in her stance I could tell she didn't expect that. "Sure."

I dumped four packets of instant hot chocolate into tow Styrofoam cups and then added in hot water.

"Doubling it is the secret," I told her when the cups were full. My mother taught me this when I was still a child.

I handed her hers, along with a wooden stirrer, and then walked toward the side door. Presuming she was going to follow me.

"Where are we-oh."

We were in a glass-enclosed porch filled with small patio tables. The windows looked out onto the courtyard, the glass encased with frost.

I swept my hand over a chair, brushing off the dust. Rose followed and sat down opposite of me. The room was cold, the air felt chilly and I could tell it was getting to Rose by the way she kept her hands around the cup, protectively. Silence fell between us. The only noise came from Rose blowing on her hot chocolate. I drake mine right away. I find hot chocolate best when it's hot, freshly made.

As we sat, and the quiet grew, Rose studied me. As did I but I wasn't looking directly at her. I couldn't help but take in those dark locks of hers, the way her eyes as dark as the hot chocolate could be so evil yet loving towards me. Her lips that were so soft and wonderful, yet at the same time can turn into something entirely different, mean, scolding, set in a grim line. It was like kissing a flower pedal. A rose.

After a while I couldn't take it anymore. "What happened out there?" I said as I met her gaze. "You didn't crack under the pressure."

She considered this. "Of course it was," she told me as she looked down into her cup. "Unless you believe I really did let Stan 'attack' Christain."

That was the last thing I wanted her to think. "No. I don't believe that. I never did. I knew you'd be unhappy when you found out about the assignments, but I never once doubted that you'd do what you'd have to for this. I knew you wouldn't let your personal feelings get in the way of your duty."

She looked up again and met my eyes. "I didn't. I was mad…Still am a little. But once I said I'd do it, I meant it. And after spending some time with him…well, I don't hate him. I actually think he's good for Lissa, and he cares about her, so I can't get upset about that. He and I just clash sometimes, that's all…but we did really well together against the Strigoi. I remembered that while I was with him today, and arguing against this assignment just seemed stupid. So I decided to do the best job I could."

She was rambling. A sign she was trying to hide something. Rose never talked this much.

"What happened then?" I asked. "With Stan?"

She adverted her eyes and played with her cup again. It took her a good five minutes before she looked back up at me. "I don't know what happened out there. My intentions were good…I just…I just messed up."

I could tell she was lieing. It was just the way we were connected. Why we were attracted to each other. "Rose. You're a terrible liar."

She glanced up at that. "No, I'm not. I've told a lot of good lies in my life. People have believed them."

I smiled slightly. "I'm sure. But it doesn't work with me. For one thing, you won't look me in the eye. As for the other…I don't know I can just tell."

By the way her eyes met mine I could tell she knew I was right. She noticed it too, the way we connected the way we did. "Look, I appreciate you being worried about me…but really, it's okay. I just messed up. I'm embarrassed about it-and sorry I put your awesome training to shame-but I'll rebound. Next time, Stan's ass is mine."

She was almost to the door. I couldn't let her go, not now. Not after everything that's happened to her. And I needed to know why she was lying. To me, out of all people.

I placed a hand on her shoulder, making her freeze. I didn't touch her anywhere else. I didn't even try to pull her closer. "Rose. I don't know why you're lying, but I know you wouldn't do it without a good reason. And if there's something wrong-something you're afraid to tell the others-"

She spun around rapidly, somehow managing to pivot in place in such a way that my hand never moved yet ended up on her other shoulder.

"I'm not afraid," she cried. "I do have my reasons, and believe me, what happened with Stan was nothing. Really. All of this is just something stupid that got blown out of proportion. Don't feel sorry for me or feel like you have to do anything. What happened sucks, but I'll just roll with it and take the black mark. I'll take care of everything. I'll take care of me." Her whole body was tense under my hand. Something that was hard to ignore.

I didn't say anything. I just looked down at her. I was worried, concerned for her well being. But also because something's occurring in Rose. Something I fear is beyond my control. And that's what scares me the most. Because if I lose her, I lose life itself.

My fingers tightened at the thought of that. "You don't have to do this alone." I said at last. The thought of losing her made my heart ache and I knew it showed in my voice.

She attempted a smile, as if to cheer me up. "You say that…but tell me the truth. Do you go running to others when you have problems?"

"That's not the same-"

"Answer the question, comrade."

"Don't call me that."

"And don't avoid the question either."

"No I try to deal with my problems on my own."

She slipped away from my hand. "See?"

That simple gesture made my earlier thoughts of losing her soar. "But you have a lot of people in your life you can trust, people who care about you. That changes things."

She looked up in surprise. "You don't have people who care about you?"

I frowned. Rethinking my words. "Well, I've always had good people in my life…and there have been people who cared about me. But that doesn't necessarily mean I could trust them or tell them everything."

She stared at me, studying my words and my expression. This time I let them slip, because I wanted her to see that she shouldn't be ashamed of locking up her emotions.

"Do you trust me?" She asked.

I hesitated, only for a moment. "Yes."

"Then trust me now, and don't worry about me just this once."

She stepped away, out of the reach of my arm, I didn't stop her. Only watched her as she slipped away from me. Just like I had feared she might do.

Chapter 6:

After I watched Rose go I continued to stand in the chilly room. I knew it was out of my place to show my feelings like that, but I couldn't help it. Especially after I took notice in her eyes today. The way they looked so crazed, as if she had gone insane. Yet at the same time, they looked lost, as if she didn't know where she was. A look that said she has truly lost grasp of reality.

The same look I've seen in someone else, although I can't place my finger on it.

Deciding it was time to fulfill the rest of my guardian duties I stepped out of the room and was faced with Alberta.

She had been sitting at the table, but now was standing staring at me. As if she had read all my thoughts.

"Guardian Petrov." I said as I acknowledged her with a nod.

She nodded back, confusion in her eyes as she did so. "Belikov can I have a moment with you?"

Like she had to ask, I was obliged to do what she said twenty-four seven. Although the question made me feel like an equal. "Of course."

She gestured to the seat across from her, which I took without hesitation. After a moment she sat down as well, staring at me from across the long table. I placed my hands in my lap, thrumming them softly on my leg as I waited for her to talk.

She cleared her throat after several moments of studying me. "I need to talk to you about Rose."

A million things went through my mind at that moment. Does she know about our love for each other? Has she found out that I've been lying and telling Rose confidential guardian things? My head spun, imagining all the consequences my future might hold. My hands sweated as I waited for her to go on.

Looking distantly out the blackened window she continued. "She seems strange. I've known Rose her whole life, and never once has she frozen like that. I've seen her train with you, she's relentless and powerful. The incident in Spokane proves just that."

My eyes dropped from her face. Rose. The metallic smell of blood. Bodies everywhere. Screaming. Tears running down her cheeks as she hovered over Mason, threatening to kill us all.

I pushed the haunting memories back, not wanting to show Alberta any weakness. She took my silence to her advantage.

"All I'm saying is that what happened with Rose out there was no ordinary lock up. Especially for a dhampir like her. A novice who has been protected and guarded all their life, sure, I can see them freezing at the first sight of danger. But Rose isn't any ordinary student; she has potential, and has experience. Something that hasn't happened to a young novice like her in a very long time.

"Even a guardian who has killed a Strigoi never freezes at the sign of danger. Especially with a Moroi involved. I guess what I'm getting at is that Rose is hiding something, and possibly lying. I'm asking you to tell me what that is."

Her eyes were like daggers, piercing into my soul. Demanding to know everything Rose hadn't told me in the glass encased room. I cleared my throat, ready to tell her a lie that I knew could get me in huge trouble. But for Rose, it was worth it.

"She was ready, ready to fight Guardian Alto when she got distracted; she told me a student walking in the distance reminded her of Mason. With red hair and the same build anyone at that great of a distance can look like him. She froze, thinking he was back from the dead. When I asked her why she didn't jump back in the fight, she told me it was too late, Alto had seized both boys."

Alberta stared at me, taking this all in. Watching her sit there staring at me in the silent room didn't help my nerves. I wanted out of here, away from all of this. I wanted them to leave Rose alone about her hesitation.

After what seemed like forever Alberta finally nodded. "That seems very possible; I'll remember that next time when Rose tries to use it as an excuse." Not likely.

I nodded and stood up smiling as I walked towards the door. "I'll make sure that doesn't happen then."

Chapter 7:

As I walked towards my dorm a few lingering Moroi and dhampir students hurried to their rooms, knowing they were out past curfew. A few glanced my way and caught my eye; this only made them walk faster, eyes locked on the ground, trying to avoid the ice on the stone path.

I had the authority to write them up, but I really didn't feel like doing the paperwork. There was a lot of signing and explaining that I was too tried for.

As I neared the novice's dorms I caught sight of Lissa, Christian, Eddie, and behind them Rose. I could sneak up on them right now and attack, but I decided against it. Rose had gone through a lot today and I didn't have a slot scheduled at this time. And if I did choose to test the four of them I would have to sign more paperwork.

The next few days were slow. At this point of time in the testing, we were ordered not to attack. It builds suspense and teaches novices and Moroi alike that years could pass without a guardian ever having to engage in any sort of conflict. They will learn patience and the importance of not slacking because there'd been no danger in a while.

And knowing Rose this activity had to be killing her.

The novices were also being held to the strictest conditions a guardian could be in: always standing and always being formal. More often than not, guardians who lived with Moroi families behaved casually in their homes and did ordinary things like reading or watching TV-while still staying perfectly aware of any threats. But we couldn't always expect that, so the novices had to practice the hard way while in school.

Later that day Alberta caught sight of me and pulled me off to the side. Her face hard as stone, as well as her eyes.

"I just talked to Vasilisa." Her voice was hushed but I could detect the betrayal and harshness in it.

This shocked me. So much that I was speechless as I continued to stare down at her. Alberta took my silence to her advantage. "She wanted to know if she and Rose could go to Victor's trial." Her eyes pierced into mine and I could feel my body recoil. I had made a terrible mistake.

At the same time I felt stupid for thinking that Rose was able to keep a guardian secret. I had been so blinded by my love for her that I hadn't realized the consequences of telling a novice private guardian stuff.

But then again, not everything can turn out for the worst.

A small flicker of hope sparked in my chest as I stared evenly at Alberta. "What did you say?"

She shook her head, "I told her no, that it's out of the question." She glared at me then, crushing all the hope I had built up. "What did you tell her?"

I cleared my throat not wanting to back away, and show weakness towards her. "I didn't tell her. I told Rose." Alberta started to chastise me about how wrong that was but I cut her off. "Rose was sick the other night and needed to go outside for some air. I caught her just outside of the novice dorms and was about to send her back when you came up. She ran and hid in the bushes and I didn't have time to get her out before you rounded the corner and came into earshot. She heard everything; it's one of the reasons why I was giving you blunt answers so she wouldn't find out about the trial. But when she did she told me she'd keep it a secret."

I knew I shouldn't of had sold Rose out like that but it wasn't entirely her fault. And I knew the way I worded it sounded like it was Alberta's for revealing so much that night.

She must have had caught on this too because she sighed and looked around the deserted campus. "I can't believe you trusted Rose to keep that a secret."

"What else was I supposed to do? She knew about it. And by the time you left I couldn't come up with a lie even if I tried."

Alberta smiled a small sad smile at me, "you're right, I just don't know what to do. Vasilisa was very convincing when she asked if she could go to the trial. It's just…well, I don't think the Queen would like it very much if she found out we brought minors to the trial of a royal."

The spark of hope from earlier started to rise. "So what are you saying?" My heart was beating fast now, wanting more than anything to make Rose happy. And going to Victors trial would bring a smile to her face I'm sure of it.

Alberta turned to go but not before her voice caught over the wind. "I'll try."

My heart almost burst out of my chest, even if it meant that Alberta would fail it was enough for me. She'll try…

Chapter 8:

I left Alberta then, wondering if she really would try to get Rose and Lissa into Victor's trial. It wasn't just because of Rose; it was also because I knew how much Victor had hurt Lissa, and how much she wanted to see him locked up. If I had been in her place I would worry myself sick every night wondering if my torturer would walk free, if he would seek me out for revenge.

But then again if I were Lissa I wouldn't worry because I knew I had Rose to protect me. And she's the most selfless and bravest person I've ever met.

I made it to the front door of the novice dorms when Stan stormed passed me. On any other day I would have nodded slightly and walked on, but something was wrong. I could tell by the slump in his shoulders and the limp in his step.

"Lost another fight again?" I called after him, smirking a little and letting it vanish before he could see it.

Stan's eyes were cold and piercing as he looked up at me. I hated the way he met my eyes. It wasn't the look of an equal, and it most definitely wasn't in the look of awe, it was as if he were sizing me up, ready to challenge me at any moment. If he and I weren't guardians at this school, only novice's like Rose, I would take that challenge and show him who's stronger. But since I'm above threats and snide comments I lean back against the rocky building and stare down at him, slightly amused.

His eyes narrow as he nears me. "Eddie's hard to fight." I nodded; we both were thinking the same thing: Eddie had real experience with Strigoi, conscious or unconscious that event will always stick with Castile.

"He's hard to catch." I said as I recalled the fight in the hallway only a few days ago. Eddie was strong, and fast, and it was at that moment I realized he was going to be a killer guardian one day.

Stan rubbed the side of his jaw where he had taken a few hits. "Yeah, well it wasn't him that I'm mad about." He stood straight and looked me right in the eye; my whole body screamed threat. "It's Rose."

My heart nearly stopped at the sound of her name. Rose? Again? I couldn't believe it, I knew Rose well enough to know that she would never back down from a fight, and certainly not after a failed one either.

Stan took my silence to his advantage, "I attacked Lissa, and instantly both Rose and Eddie jumped in. Castile got to me first so while we were circling Rose kept following us, waiting for an opening to join him. She left both Moroi unattended. I'm really starting to think Rose has some revenge plot against Christian…"

As Stan continued to talk about the attack and how wrong it was I continued to stand there, frozen. Rose couldn't possibly be doing badly, she has had experience, I've fought her countless number of times in the gym. She has potential and most of all skill. If anything she should be the top student and should be praised for her efforts in keeping her Moroi safe.

If I were in Stan's position I would have thought Rose to be revengeful and against being Christian's guardian. I would have had her reported to Kirova again for her lack of efforts in keeping Christian safe.

But I know Rose. She wouldn't have caused this big of a mistake without a good reason. Whether it was the same as last time I'll never know. But one thing's for sure, Rose is a fighter, and she would never back down, especially with Stan involved as her attacker. She probably was trying too hard to regain her position in the field experience, since last time she failed to do anything.

No, Rose would never leave a Moroi unprotected. Spokane is full proof.

"…She was suspicious for not taking action the minute it was handed to her. And now she's just outright witless weak for-"

Stan didn't even get to finish before I grabbed hold of his collar and rammed him against the side of the novice building. His eyes widened as I kept him there with his feet dangling in the air. I glared at him, his face level with mine, as I spoke softly, "don't you ever call Rose stupid." I hissed, the sound was foreign to me, never before had I known to be capable of such brutality.

Stan cleared his throat not taking his eyes off of me, which said he wanted this, he wanted a fight; knowing I had a soft spot for Rose. And all he had to do was spark it and I would take action. But I didn't care; Rose wasn't someone you should make fun of.

He laughed blowing hot foul air in my face. "Belikov, never thought I'd get to see this side of you."

I smiled down at him. He may think he has won, but I'm stronger, and faster. And the most respected guardian at this school, no one would ever believe him if he chose to tell. I wasn't afraid of him; he was just another Jesse Zeklos waiting for a chance to strike at a person's weak spot.

I knew I was going to get in trouble for this, but I didn't care. Rose would understand.

I shoved him against the stone wall, making him wince and groan in pain. "If I ever hear you call Rose anything she's not I will personally drive a stake through your heart. And I will enjoy it."

I released him then, causing him to slump to the floor. He groaned as he managed to sit up, the novices were really taking it hard against him, and now I really damaged whatever strength he had left. Good, he needs to be knocked down a few pegs, especially if Rose ever gets the chance to fight him again. I know she'll enjoy kicking his ass as much as I did.

I resisted the urge to kick him until he bled; instead I turned on my heel and made my way back to the door. My hand rested on the knob as I turned around and met Stan's eyes, which were now full of hatred and revenge. My voice was barely a shout, "report this to anyone and I won't think twice about my threat."

I opened the novice door that instantly bathed me in a warm yellow glow letting it shut softly behind me, putting a barrier between Stan and me.

Chapter 9:

My feet crunched in the freshly lain snow as I made my way out of the dorms. After my confrontation with Stan last night I had been too wild up to go to sleep. Adrenaline had coursed through my veins till five in the morning; luckily I had Sunday off and wouldn't attend church till eight. I was happy until I found out Rose had community service, and all that happiness burst into something else. Something mixed with passion, longing, love and giddiness.

I shook the feelings away as I made my way to the chapel. I wasn't neglecting my love for Rose like I had at the ski lodge, but I wasn't enforcing it either. I needed to stay calm and collected, I needed to get her to pass the final test, and I needed her to graduate so we could watch over Lissa. But most importantly I needed her to focus on knowing what to do in intense situations, Spokane was proof enough to me that I won't be there all the time to watch and protect her. And even though she had done a good job at getting her and her friends out, not all of them made it. And that single mistake, will affect her forever, as a guardian and as a person.

Shivering at the thought of a screaming Rose crouched over Mason made me aware of my surroundings. I was nearing the chapel, snow falling lightly, blurring its dark furnishing. It was seven thirty, so no one was around yet except for the one person I needed to talk to before the service.

I open the huge wooden doors that prevent the cold and snow from drafting in and step inside. My feet echo against the walls as I make my way towards the stage. The wooden doors close with a bang making my footsteps sound like padded drops from a sink compared to a waterfall.

The priest looks up from his work then. He had been huddled over one of the old dusty bibles that he stored in the back. His pen tapping the side of the podium as he rests his head in his hand trying to put together the service. My heart beats faster at the sight of him, knowing that I may be interrupting whatever work he was doing and preventing him from finishing it. I wonder if God would strike me down for that. But didn't have the time to consider it before the old man smiled at me.

"Dimitri, what can I do for you?" His smile was genuine and wrinkled at the corners of his eyes, making him look much older than he really was.

I nodded and smiled back. "My student Rosemarie Hathaway has community service today and I was wondering if she could help you with anything." He nodded his balding head, eyes lost in thought. "I also will be assisting her."

The priest's graying eyebrows went up at that, crinkling his forehead, which made him look twenty years older. "Is that so?" He cleared his throat. "Well, Dimitri, I think I can fit in a time for the both of you. See me after the service today and I will find something for you two to do."

I nodded and thanked him. As I turned around and started to walk away his deep voice rang through the wooden chapel. "I don't think that's a good idea. I've been watching the way you look at her."

I freeze in mid-footstep. And spin as fast as I would if I were to face a Strigoi. I try to keep my voice even. "I-I…What do you mean Sir?"

He smiled, there wasn't anything hidden behind that smile, being a servant of God. His eyes lit up at my attempts to act surprise. "During the services, I see the way you two steal glances at each other Dimitri. There's nothing to hide. At first it looked as though you were checking on her protectively, as if she were in danger all the time. But then I looked again and saw something different in your eyes."

I lowered my head, I couldn't lie to the priest, it would be a sin to, and would be wrong. I nod as if I understand, but really I'm just shocked he had figured it out. Him out of all people. He took my silence as an invitation and kept talking.

"I think I've figured it out now." His voice was light and thoughtful; my heart ached for him to stop talking. "It's wonder. Wonder if you're ever going to be with that person. And longing. Longing to be with her forever. I see the way you watch Rose when she leaves, like she's walking out the door forever, never coming back. But there's something else there too."

I look up at him then, his finger tapping his chin as he stares off into the unknown. My heart beats faster, never before had someone (besides Tasha) figured out my biggest secret, figured out my feelings for Rose wasn't professional.

His eyes flickered back to me as he smiles again. "Protection. You're assigned to the Dragomir princess correct?" I nod, and when I don't respond he continues, his voice lower this time. And as I crane my neck to see what he's looking at I realize with sudden shock that there are people entering the building. "And I trust you know how important it is to protect her. And Rose is Vasilissa's best friend, yet I can see you protecting Hathaway without a second thought. Leaving Vasilissa out in the open. You do understand why this is dangerous? Not just for your carrier, but for both of the girl's lives?"

His brown eyes were wide now as he imagined what might happen if I let my feelings get the best of me. We both seemed to share the same thought. I was Lissa's guardian, and if I let Rose get in the way of protecting her I will endanger the last Dragomir's life. But I never thought about Lissa being the dangerous one. Rose, well she's Rose and danger was her characteristic it seemed like these days. But Lissa, she was innocent, and just a girl, a vulnerable girl, who needed protection. And if I'm not there to provide that her life will be in danger.

My heart quickened even more, pounding in my ears. And by the way he cocked his head to the side I knew he heard it. With his powerful Moroi ears, he probably could hear the blood rushing through my veins fast and irregular.

He looked up, his smile fading as his eyes swept across the room. "My service is about to start. I'll consult with you and Hathaway after."

And without another word or glance his eyes focused back on the book he had been fixated over before I had come in.

I took my regular seat in the back, trying hard not to glance Rose's way as she entered. What the priest had said to me was overwhelming. Never before had someone come remotely close to my deep feelings for her. It was true I wanted to protect her. And I knew if the time came I would try to protect Lissa, but the moment Rose screamed in pain I would shift my attention to her and kill whatever caused her bloodcurdling scream.

And it was then I knew what to do. Not only did I need Rose to get better in training, I needed her to learn to protect herself. To kill a Strigoi within seconds, because if she doesn't she endangers both Lissa and me. Lissa's life will be forgotten, and I will take action and protect Rose with my life.

The thought of Rose's screams in Spokane comes back to me. Never again will I let her scream like that, feel like that. Her screams echo in my head and I wonder if the priest can hear that too.

Chapter 10:

After the service and everyone had cleared out Rose lingered near the stage. She looked uncomfortable and stuck out. The way she looked around the room told me she didn't want to be here and hoped no one saw her and took it as a sudden interest in religion. I shook my head at the thought. It could be something else.

My heart nearly leapt out of my chest when she glanced my way. Shock masked her features, and I was brought back to the first night I had saw her. She wore the same expression only fear was hidden somewhere beneath it. Only this time the fear was replaced by something I had come to consider and know. Love.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. Her voice echoed off the old wooden walls.

"Thought you might need some help. I hear the priest wants to do a lot of housecleaning." I had heard this by eavesdropping on Alberta and Kirova from earlier.

"Yeah, but you're not the one being punished here. And this is your day off too. We-well, everyone else-spent the whole week battling it out, but you guys were the ones picking the fights the whole time." Her eyes narrowed, taking in the features of my face. I knew she was examining the bruises I had received this week. I didn't have as many as the other guardians, partly because I was faster and stronger than most and didn't go easy on the students.

Stan had the most out of all of us. And my confrontation with him last night had to leave a lot more damage than any novice could do. The thought of him calling Rose stupid made my pulse quicken in anger. The last time he had talked badly about Rose was the first day she had arrived back to the school. He had screamed and yelled at her over something as small as not knowing a lesson.

Back then I thought of his yelling as a lesson to her. And had agreed with it. But now, now I see it as cruelty and his enjoyment of picking on a student. Knowing they can't do anything to him. Except for now, on the field experience, they could hit him and not get looked down for it. I silently encouraged Rose to beat the hell out of him.

I looked at her, keeping my face as stone like as possible. The priest was lingering behind her and if he saw just the slightest attraction I had for Rose I don't know what I'd do. "What else would I do today?"

"I could think of a hundred other things," she noted dryly. It was as if she didn't want me there. My heart ached at her response. "There's probably a John Wayne movie on somewhere that you haven't seen."

I tried to keep a straight face at her attempts of showing me up. I shook my head. "No, there isn't. I've seen them all. Look-the priest is waiting for us."

She turned around to see Father Andrew standing at the front, watching us. To Rose his look might seem creepy, but to me, it was like a stab in the back. He was watching us, seeing if his earlier theory was correct. My heart raced as I stared at him. His mouth twitched upward, I knew he heard it.

He'd taken off the rich robes he'd worn during the service and now stood in simple slacks and a button down shirt.

As Rose and I approached to get our assignments, I couldn't help but wonder if it were a sin to love someone that didn't belong to me. Surely somewhere in the bible God looked down upon falling in love with a girl underage. I just hadn't found it yet.

"Thank you both for volunteering to help me." Father Andrew smiled at us. "We aren't doing anything particularly complex today. It's a bit boring really. We'll have to do the regular cleaning, of course, and then I'd like to sort the boxes of old supplies I have sitting up in the attic."

As I stared at the priest I noticed he was keeping a straight face, and mainly was looking at Rose. As if he was trying to figure out her feelings for me too. But then again, he could be trying to hide the fact that he knows about us.

"We're happy to do whatever you need." I said solemnly.

We set to it.

Rose was put on mop duty, and I took over dusting and polishing the wooden pews. I kept to myself, thinking of things that didn't wonder too closely to Rose. I thought of my old life, my old home. The smell of breakfast every time I woke up in that small home. The feeling of my mom and grandmother as they hugged me before I went off to school. My sisters, how much I loved them, and what I would do to protect them. Beating up my dad wasn't just for my mom.

I took my time cleaning the pews, not wanting to mess up. But I was also stalling for time, I didn't want to leave Rose's side. I never did. Every time I was with her she found a way to make my heart race faster, to make my breathing shallow to where I was suffocating for oxygen. The things she does to me I'll never understand.

When the priest stepped out of the sanctuary to go to his office, I continued working quietly. Trying hard not to let my emotions spill over. We weren't out in public, but we weren't alone either. And my conversation with the priest before the service still wrapped around my brain. Refusing to leave.

When we finished the cleaning, Father Andrew had us haul box after box of stuff down from the attic and into the storeroom at the back of the chapel.

With all the stuff downstairs, the three of us settled on the floor and began sorting it all out. Father Andrew gave us instructions on what to save and what to throw out. My aching limbs stretched awkwardly on the wooden floor. And I winced every time I tried to shift. The priest made small talk as we worked, asking about Rose's classes and other things.

And as we worked, I stole a glance at Rose when the priest turned around to grab something. She was thoughtful as she stared down at the pile surrounding her. The wrinkles in her forehead increased as her thought deepened. I looked at her curious what she was up to.

"Hey," she said to Father Andrew. "Do you believe in ghosts? I mean, is there any mention of them in-" She gestured around us. "-in this stuff?"

The question surprised him, but he didn't appear to take offense at her calling his vocation and life's work "this stuff". Or at the fact that she was ignorant about it all, despite of attending the services. A bemused expression crossed his face, and he paused in his work.

I stopped too, curious. "Well…it depends on how you define 'ghost' I suppose."

Rose tapped a theology book with her finger. "The whole point of this is that when you die, you go to heaven or hell. That makes ghosts just stories, right? They're not in the Bible or anything."

"Again," he said, "it depends on your definition. Our faith has always held that after death, the spirit separates from the body and may indeed linger in this world."

"What?" A dusty bowl she had been holding dropped out of her hand. Fortunately it was wood and didn't break. She quickly retrieved it. Her face paled, full of fear and shock. My heart raced even more, this time it was for her safety. Guardian instincts kicked in and it took all my will not to shake her and demand who hurt her. I wasn't surprised when my first guess was Jessy. "For how long? Forever?" Her eyes were wide now.

"No, no, of course not. That lies in the face of the resurrection and salvation, which form the cornerstone of our beliefs. But it's believed the soul can stay on the earth for three to forty days after death. It eventually receives a 'temporary' judgment that sends it on from this world to heaven or hell-although no one will truly experience either until the actual Judgment Day, when the soul and body are reunited to live out eternity as one."

Her face went slack, but not enough to satisfy my burning instincts. "Yeah, but is it true or not? Are spirits really walking the earth for forty days after death?"

"Ah, Rose. Those who have to ask if faith is true are opening up a discussion they may not be ready for."

Rose sighed and turned back to the box in front of her.

"But," he said kindly, "if it helps you, some of these ideas parallel folk beliefs from Eastern Europe about ghosts that existed before the spread of Christianity. Those traditions have long upheld the idea of spirits staying around for a short time after death-particularly if the person in question died young or violently."

She froze. The book that was in her hand went slack and fell back into the box. Her face, I thought was white before, but now it was if it were translucent. I was sure if I were to walk up to her I could see all the veins and muscles sitting behind that pretty skin of hers.

"Why?" She asked in a small voice. "Why would they stay? Is it…is it for revenge?"

My arms ached to hold her and cradle her against my chest. To whisper that everything was going to be alright, whatever it was. But even with the priest here, who knew a lot about us, I didn't dare go anywhere near her.

I'm sure there are some who believe that, just as some believe it's because the soul has trouble finding peace after something so unsettling."

"What do you believe?" she asked her voice hopeful.

He smiled. "I believe the soul separates from the body, just as our fathers teach us, but I doubt the soul's time on earth is anything the living can perceive. It's not like in the movies, with ghosts haunting buildings or coming to visit those they knew. I envision these spirits as more of an energy existing around us, something beyond our perception as they wait to move on and find peace. Ultimately, what matters is what happens beyond this earth when we attain the eternal life our savior bought for us with his great sacrifice. That's what's important."

Rose stayed quiet and thoughtful, some of the blood returned to her cheeks. But not enough to calm me down. She seemed to be battling something inside her. I knew this because of the way she had hunched over herself, face lost in thought.

Father Andrew sensed the change in Rose; he tried to coax her out. "I just got some new books in from a friend in another parish. Interesting stories about St. Vladimir." He titled his head. "Are you still interested in him? And Anna?"

When she didn't respond, the priest and I looked at each other, wondering what was into her. Rose never really cared for religious things, until now. And her sudden interest made me curious.

"Yeah," she said finally, not making eye contact. "I'm interested…but I don't think I can get to it anytime soon. I'm kind of busy with all this…you know, field experience stuff."

She fell silent again. He took the hint and let her work on without further interruption. So I followed his lead, not saying anything. When we finally finished sorting, Father Andrew told us we had one more task before our work was done. He pointed to some boxes that we'd organized and repacked.

"I need you to carry these over to the elementary campus," he said. "Leave them off at the Moroi dorm there. Ms. Davis has been teaching Sunday school for some of the kindergarteners and might be able to use those."

It would take at least two trips between Rose and me, and the elementary campus was a fair distance away.

Rose and I got to it.

"Why are you interested in ghosts?" I asked her on our first trip. This had been bothering me the moment she had mentioned it. I had never took Rose as the supernatural type. Even though Vampires were considered supernatural, we didn't think of it that way.

"Just making conversation." She said.

"I can't see your face right now, but I have a feeling you're lying again." I said around the dusty boxes.

"Jeez, everyone thinks the worst of me lately. Stan accused me of glory-seeking."

Just the thought of her comparing me to Stan made my body tense. But I couldn't let that reach my voice, because if I did Rose would question me and I could get in big trouble.

"I heard about that," I said as we rounded a corner. The buildings of the elementary campus loomed up in front of us. "That might have been a little unfair of him." I was exaggerating.

"A little, huh?" Her voice turned dark, almost making me jump. "Well, thanks, but I'm starting to lose faith in this field experience. Sometimes in the whole Academy."

"You don't mean that."

"I don't know. The school just seems so caught up in rules and policies that don't have anything to do with real life. I saw what was out there, comrade. I went right to the monster's lair. In some ways… I don't know if this really prepares us."

Rose's screams returned to me making me wince. The icy wind picked up then, and as it hit me in cold waves I swear I could smell blood in there somewhere. I shivered at the thought of Spokane. "Sometimes I agree."

She nearly stumbled as we stepped inside one of the two Moroi dorms on the elementary campus. The lobby looked a lot like the ones on the secondary campus. "Really?" she asked.

"Really," I said, a small smile spread on my lips. "I mean, I don't agree that novices should be put out in the word when they're ten or anything, but sometimes I've thought the field experience should actually be in the field. I probably learned more in my first year as a guardian then I did in all my years of training. Well… maybe not all. But it's a different situation, absolutely."

"I'm sure there are some who believe that, just as some believe it's because the soul has trouble finding peace after something so unsettling."

"What do you believe?" she asked her voice hopeful.

He smiled. "I believe the soul separates from the body, just as our fathers teach us, but I doubt the soul's time on earth is anything the living can perceive. It's not like in the movies, with ghosts haunting buildings or coming to visit those they knew. I envision these spirits as more of an energy existing around us, something beyond our perception as they wait to move on and find peace. Ultimately, what matters is what happens beyond this earth when we attain the eternal life our savior bought for us with his great sacrifice. That's what's important."

Rose stayed quiet and thoughtful, some of the blood returned to her cheeks. But not enough to calm me down. She seemed to be battling something inside her. I knew this because of the way she had hunched over herself, face lost in thought.

Father Andrew sensed the change in Rose; he tried to coax her out. "I just got some new books in from a friend in another parish. Interesting stories about St. Vladimir." He titled his head. "Are you still interested in him? And Anna?"

When she didn't respond, the priest and I looked at each other, wondering what was into her. Rose never really cared for religious things, until now. And her sudden interest made me curious.

"Yeah," she said finally, not making eye contact. "I'm interested…but I don't think I can get to it anytime soon. I'm kind of busy with all this…you know, field experience stuff."

She fell silent again. He took the hint and let her work on without further interruption. So I followed his lead, not saying anything. When we finally finished sorting, Father Andrew told us we had one more task before our work was done. He pointed to some boxes that we'd organized and repacked.

"I need you to carry these over to the elementary campus," he said. "Leave them off at the Moroi dorm there. Ms. Davis has been teaching Sunday school for some of the kindergarteners and might be able to use those."

It would take at least two trips between Rose and me, and the elementary campus was a fair distance away.

Rose and I got to it.

"Why are you interested in ghosts?" I asked her on our first trip. This had been bothering me the moment she had mentioned it. I had never took Rose as the supernatural type. Even though Vampires were considered supernatural, we didn't think of it that way.

"Just making conversation." She said.

"I can't see your face right now, but I have a feeling you're lying again." I said around the dusty boxes.

"Jeez, everyone thinks the worst of me lately. Stan accused me of glory-seeking."

Just the thought of her comparing me to Stan made my body tense. But I couldn't let that reach my voice, because if I did Rose would question me and I could get in big trouble.

"I heard about that," I said as we rounded a corner. The buildings of the elementary campus loomed up in front of us. "That might have been a little unfair of him." I was exaggerating.

"A little, huh?" Her voice turned dark, almost making me jump. "Well, thanks, but I'm starting to lose faith in this field experience. Sometimes in the whole Academy."

"You don't mean that."

"I don't know. The school just seems so caught up in rules and policies that don't have anything to do with real life. I saw what was out there, comrade. I went right to the monster's lair. In some ways… I don't know if this really prepares us."

Rose's screams returned to me making me wince. The icy wind picked up then, and as it hit me in cold waves I swear I could smell blood in there somewhere. I shivered at the thought of Spokane. "Sometimes I agree."

She nearly stumbled as we stepped inside one of the two Moroi dorms on the elementary campus. The lobby looked a lot like the ones on the secondary campus. "Really?" she asked.

"Really," I said, a small smile spread on my lips. "I mean, I don't agree that novices should be put out in the word when they're ten or anything, but sometimes I've thought the field experience should actually be in the field. I probably learned more in my first year as a guardian then I did in all my years of training. Well… maybe not all. But it's a different situation, absolutely."

I studied her, brushing hair out of my eyes in the process. "Why does there have to be some ulterior motive?"

She took a moment to consider this. Every time her anger started to loosen my tense body would relax a little. "Because everyone has motives."

"Yes. But not always the motives you think." I pushed open the door. "I'll see you later."

Chapter 11:

After leaving Rose to bring the last box to Mrs. Davis, I made my way to the guardian's main building to report Rose's community service. Even though Kirova and Alberta never asked me to, I felt like it was the right thing to do. Considering I was assigned to keep Rose in line and report her disciplinary projects I figured this event was no different.

And as my feet sloshed in the snow I couldn't help but feel hurt about Rose's earlier comments. Did she really not believe that I could get her into the trial? Did she really think I had that much power to do so? Her comments suggested that I did, and she looked at me as if I were a god who was capable of doing anything.

I shook my head at the thought; no I may not be able to do everything. But I was capable of doing a lot of things, and getting Rose and Lissa to that trial was just an obstacle I had to overcome.

As the guardian building peeped out of the darkness of the trees I quickened my pace. My feet were silent against the snow, mainly from my years of practicing fox walking, and also from being light in my stance. Twenty years of practicing this one technique will do that to you.

The soft golden glow coming from the windows casted long eerie blue shadows on the snow. Shapes were walking past the window's frame. I could tell from the short hair and the tense body that one of them was Alberta's. The wind picked up making me quicken my pace even more.

I was soon bathed in the warm glow. Shutting the door behind me I could actually feel my face defrosting. How long have I been walking? I'll never know.

Alberta's head shot up from the corner she was standing at the instant the door locked in place. She nodded and gave me a small smile. "Belikov. You're here to report Rose's community service I presume?"

I nodded back and took a seat at the empty table. Emil was standing off to the side going over something with another guardian. "Yes, she, Father Andrew and I worked all day on cleaning out the chapel's attic and sorting through the boxes that he kept up there. Then after we, Rose and I, brought them down to the lower schools and handed them over to Mrs. Davis."

Alberta's watchful eyes were on me the whole time. Making me nervous. She let a few moments pass before she nodded. "How is she doing?"

Her question shocked me. I knew Alberta cared about Rose's field experience but that didn't stop my racing heart from slowing down. After my confrontation with Father Andrew this morning I figured everyone would've guessed my love for Rose by now.

I kept my face as stone like as possible, not wanting to give anything away from last night. Especially my fight with Stan. "She's doing better; Guardian Alto got her again last night. But this time it was different, he attacked and both she and Eddie jumped in leaving both their charges unprotected."

I felt like a snitch but I couldn't lie to Alberta. She was the one person that had control over all guardians at this school and if she found out I was lying I'd lose my job. And that meant losing my job of protecting Lissa and keeping a watchful eye over Rose.

Alberta had started to pace the room again. Her head hung low as she placed her clasped hands behind her back. Her face was thoughtful as she took in all my information. And I noticed for the first time she looked as young as she was. Not all tensed up and ready for a fight, her face was smooth, free of stress wrinkles and with her mouth slightly opened she looked her age. Alberta wasn't as old as most guardians now a days, but she was pretty old. And all the stress of being a Guardian had taken her beauty away.

This thought brought me back to my first days of training Rose. It had been cold and we had been practicing outside for quite some time. When we came back inside I noticed her hands were cracked and blistered, and in some parts they had actually opened and bled.

While I was treating them she told me that this was the first sign of her slowly losing her beauty. Just like Alberta and her mother had lost theirs. The life of dedication and protecting the Moroi really affected us in a lot of ways.

Back then I had told her that it wouldn't happen to her that this life would never affect her beauty in anyway. And even now I thought the same thing. Rose was different from Alberta and her mother. Both Alberta and Janine have fully dedicated their lives to protecting and serving their Moroi charges. The only difference is that Rose will be safely locked away in Court with Lissa. Which will provide less brutality to her gorgeous face. She didn't need to worry about losing her golden skin to a hard life. I was sure of it.

Alberta stopped pacing and resorted to sitting next to me. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she stared into my eyes. I could see the beautiful woman she once was before this life took that all away. She was still beautiful, not in the way Rose was, but in her own way. She had a tough beauty about her.

"I heard about her fight with Alto last night, and I know you care about her as much as I do. And want to help her but I don't know what we can do. We've both seen what she's capable of; we've both seen the damage in Spokane." She paused her face darkening. I knew what she was thinking of. The blood that covered the floor as Rose screamed for us to leave her alone. Hovering over Mason as if she could bring him back to life. The tears and blood mixed in on her cheeks, the hurt and anger in her eyes as she stared up at us not making our features out.

Alberta shook her head. "I know Rose is much more skilled than this. She shouldn't even need to take the field experience. I don't even think what we put the novice's through every year really helps them in real life." She looked away. I was shocked at how close she came to mirroring my thoughts from talking to Rose earlier. "But I have to put faith in this program. It's the only way we can teach them the ways of the real world. I had expected Rose to be the top student and take down every threat we threw at her. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe Spokane had done some permanent damage to her. Maybe…" her eyes looked sadder and sadder the more she talked. I placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. There were real tears in her eyes. "Maybe she can't be helped. Maybe she's incapable of killing Strigoi without flashing back to her first killing."

Her voice trailed off as she looked away from me. I took in what she was saying. It was true, maybe there's no way to help Rose. Maybe she really was gone in the sense of being able to kill. But thinking back to today, the fierceness in her eyes and the determination to pass this exam was a sign of how wrong Alberta's thoughts were.

No, Rose was capable of killing. I've seen the way she watches Lissa as if she were in terrible danger. As if in any moment Lissa will be attacked, even in a highly guarded school. No, Rose hasn't left us, and she never will.

I squeezed Alberta's shoulder out of comfort. "I've fought her in the gym after Spokane. I've seen the way she watches Lissa as if they were already out in the real world. Rose hasn't left us after Spokane. If anything she's grown stronger and more alert."

Alberta looked back at me, her eyes wide and hopeful; this only made her look much younger. "You really think so?" There was a hopeful tone to her voice.

I nodded. "I'm positive. I know Rose; she'll never leave this life of protecting and serving the Moroi." I thought back to the day in the gym after Spokane when she demanded to learn more about killing Strigoi. "No, she'll be just fine."

Alberta smiled at me. "I'm sorry…about all that, it's just guardian numbers are lowering daily and we can't afford to lose a student like Rose."

I nodded in agreement. When she didn't say anymore I stood up to leave. I took two steps before she reached out and grabbed my wrist. Forcing me to turn around and look down into her eyes. "Promise me you'll find out what's wrong with Rose, Belikov." Her eyes were no longer watery, if anything they looked determined. "We can't lose her. Mentally I mean."

I nodded. "I promise."

Alberta sighed and leaned back releasing her hold on me. She ran a hand through her short brown hair. "One more thing. Do you think we need to get Hathaway into a therapist?"

I took a moment to think about that. Therapy would help her, but I don't think that's an issue as of right now. And if we did decide to place her into a help program it will only push back her field experience more. I shook my head. "No, she'll be fine. If the problem worsens within this week I'll set up an appointment with one of our therapists."

Alberta seemed to like this idea. She nodded and clasped her hands in her lap. "Very well then, I need-"

Her next words were cut off by a loud bang of the front door. I spun around as fast as I would if there were a Strigoi standing behind me. My instincts made me reach for my stake. But my fingers stopped to rest on the cold metal surface as I noticed who I was about to attack.

"Ivashkov! You are out of line!"

Green eyes stared back at me, messy brown hair drenched from the newly falling snow. Adrian smirked at me as he walked toward us. Kirova was behind him, looking upset and pissed off as usual.

"I told him he couldn't come in here without an appointment. That Moroi were not permitted to enter without further acceptance, but he just won't listen."

Adrian plopped himself down on one of the few couches we had in the guardian building. He stretched out his long legs looking bored. "I told you Kirova I go by my own rules. Besides I'm not a student. I have rights!" His words had a slight slur to them. And it took me a moment to realize he was drunk. Shaking my head I looked over at a now fuming, red faced Kirova.

"Headmistress. And because you aren't a student doesn't mean you get to barge into whatever building you want. You're not even part of our staff, you have no right what so ever." Her words were clipped and had venom dripping off of them. I couldn't remember a time when Kirova wasn't this mad. Excluding the past visits from Rose.

Adrian waved that off as if it didn't even matter. And to an Ivashkov it might as well not. "Yeah, I get it. I came here for a good reason, and since you wouldn't approve I went to the next best source."

Adrian's eyes searched both Alberta's and mine. Emil and the other guardian were still standing in the corner, but were no longer focused on the paper Emil still clutched in his hand. Their eyes were wide and surprised. I had no doubt Alberta and I looked the same.

Kirova huffed at that as she positioned herself next to Adrian. "Requesting Rosemarie Hathaway and Vasilisa Dragomir to Victor Dashkov's trail isn't a good reason to come barging into every staff building on this campus."

He smiled up at Kirova as she stared him down. How he managed not to cower under her piercing glare was beyond me. "Oh come on, let them come. I'm sure my Aunt will be thrilled to have the last Dragomir in her courtroom. Considering they've been absent for over two years. They need more power in their government."

We all stared at him in shock. Never before had a royal talked about the Dragomir's death like that. Everyone looked at it in sorrow and pity for Lissa. But then again Adrian was drunk and probably didn't know half of what he was saying.

Kirova looked like she was about to hit him. Instead she clinched her fists to her side, making her knuckles turn white. "The Dragomir's death was a tragedy, and you should respect their absence and not acknowledge it in that way." I could tell she was trying hard to keep her self control.

Adrian yawned looking more bored than he did a moment ago. He seemed to forget Kirova as he turned his attention to both Alberta and I. "Please consider letting Rose and Lissa go to the trial." At first I wanted to shake my head but the longer I looked into those deep green eyes the more I began to lose my sense of reality.

There was nothing in the world but those emerald eyes. They burned into my soul as I continued to stare at him. His face was a magnificent blur; the only thing I could seem to focus on was his eyes.

I shook my head; that was weird, never before had I felt like that. I looked away as he continued to talk. "My Aunt will praise you for letting them come along." His voice was like honey but there was something else hidden in there too.

I focused my attention back on him. But this time I didn't look anywhere near his eyes. They were now focused on Alberta. I stole a glance in her direction and was shocked at what I saw.

Her face was slack, like it had been earlier, making her look ten years younger. Everything about her seemed normal except for her eyes. They had that glazed over look I knew all too well. Compulsion.

Adrian was using it on Alberta, and Kirova didn't notice it. I wanted to say something, but one simple thought stopped me.

This could be it; this could be our chance of getting Rose into the trial. I knew it was wrong to encourage compulsion, I could get in a lot of trouble for it, but if it included Rose and making her happy I was all for it. I sat back in my chair and stared at the pattern on the floor until it was over.

Alberta coughed and sighed. I looked up at her, her eyes were still glazed over but I could see her quickly coming to her senses. "I'll consider it." She said not sounding too convinced.

I looked over at Adrian to see what his reaction might be. And what I saw surprised me. He glared at both of us. "You will do it, and forget that I used compulsion on you."

I woke up; it was like I was in a dream, a dream where I was being controlled. Only I was in the guardian's building staring at Adrian and Kirova. Kirova's features were as pissed off as usual, she didn't seem affected by the weird dream feeling.

I shook off the rest of the effects as I stared at my hands. Alberta's voice rang through the silence. "Considering your proposition Mr. Ivashkov, I will allow both Hathaway and Dragomir to attend Victor's trial." Her voice seemed like something was controlling it, but I didn't know what.

Kirova moved towards the door. "Great, not only will we have to worry about you being trouble Adrian, but now we'll have to worry about Rosemarie as well." She huffed and walked out into the cold night air.

Adrian stood up and brushed off his pants. "Well my work is finished. See you tomorrow."

And with that he left the building as loud as he had entered. I shook off whatever I had just gone through and stood up. I had to pack for tomorrow. And now I had to pack for Rose.

Excitement burst through my body at the thought of having her come with us. How Adrian did it I'll never know.

Chapter 12:

As I walked back to my dorm in the cool night air I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy towards Adrian. How he had managed to get Rose and Lissa into Victor's trial when I couldn't. I've never felt like such a failure and disappointed towards myself in my whole life.

Maybe if I had just tried harder I could have gotten Rose and Lissa to Court, not Adrian. And as my feet crunched in the newly lain snow I couldn't help but wonder how he had done it. How could someone, who doesn't have a lot of respect and influence, overpower someone who has earned the respect from his peers and has more influence in both Moroi and dhampir worlds?

As I pondered on this subject the novice and guardian dorm came into view. Its medieval shape was a black smudge on the horizon surrounded by dark looming trees. The buildings point seemed to pierce the sky with its crown as I came closer.

It was near curfew, and I was surprised to see no one wondering around campus before they had to be inside. Although it was cold out and that had to be the main reason for drawing them indoors.

Soon enough I was inside the dorm. My cheeks burned from the cold air as the room's heat blasted me in the face. My fingers and toes were starting to feel numb and prickly. The lady at the desk didn't seem to notice me as I silently slipped past her towards the back of the lobby where the guardians kept most of their "traveling gear".

I opened the small narrow door at the end of the room with my endless amount of keys, and was greeted with blackness. I took in a deep breath and was rewarded with an old musty smell that came from the small room. It was under the stairwell and was ignored most of the time since guardians seemed to have a lack in usage for it. The fumes coming from the moist walls made my nose scrunch up in disgust; the smell reminded me of being with Rose earlier in the Chapel with all the old musty books. I smiled at the thought of being with her at this moment and her commenting on the smell.

My dhampir eyes quickly adjusted to the dark as I quietly shut the door and made my way down the set of stairs that I've been down more than the other guardians here.

I ducked through the second door way, my feet echoing against the walls as I did so, and hit the light switch on the left. My eyes protested to the harsh lighting as I stepped further into the small confined room. On the far right corner was another door which I knew held the clothes for attending the Court. And opposite of that wall were shelves of weapons, which were kept secret from the novices so they won't come wondering down here wanting to "test" the dangerous instruments.

I quietly shut the second door behind me and made my way towards the closet. My hand rested on the cool brass knob as I struggled to turn its rusty springs, due from the dank and wet air in the small confined room. Its springs groaned protests as I carefully twisted the rusting knob. And as I pulled the door out its hinges groaned even louder than the springs did, making me wince, although I don't know why. I had no reason to be secretive.

I was greeted with clear hanging bags of black and white suits. The bags were meant to protect the clothes so they wouldn't get moldy. But if they were left unattended for a certain amount of time they would eventually need to be thrown out and Alberta would have to order new ones.

The Queen requests all guardians to be in black and white attire, which included black pants and white shirts. We didn't have any say in it, because after all it was the Queen's wish.

I thumbed through the wet plastic bags, as I searched for Rose's size. I didn't need an outfit for myself because I already had one. Guardians were required to have a pair of black and white attire just in case something comes up and they can't go shopping for a set.

My mind flashed back to the time when Victor had taken the girls to the mall in search for their dresses for the dance. I had followed them at a safe yet close enough distance and had watched as Rose and Lissa went through clothing stores looking at not only dresses but pants and shirts as well.

I had taken notice in what Rose looked at and had heard her sizes as well. I knew knowing this information might come in handy one day, especially if she really was being considered to guard Lissa at the Court after graduation.

My fingers rested on one of the white shirts on the girl's side of the closet. I picked it off the rack and hung it loosely over my arm. Then I continued to leaf through the damp bags until I found the right size pants as well.

Taking in another deep breath of the musty room I shut the closet door and made my way out of the room as quietly as possible.

Once I was on my leveled floor I walked away from my dorm room and towards the washing room. I didn't think Rose would appreciate musty and dank smells as her new perfume.

After I put them in the washer I leaned back against one of the many chairs in the room and stretched out my long legs. My eyes felt heavy from the long day of work and my limbs tired. But before I could even think of resting, my mind landed on a subject I was not too fond of.

Father Andrew had been right about Rose and me. And that had scared me, he out of all people had figured out my worst and deepest secret. I knew I could trust a man of the Lord to keep that secret but what if something came up and he was forced to reveal it?

And then another thing popped in my head… what if Victor does tell the royal court about the truth between Rose and me? My reputation would shatter, and I would most likely be out casted and possibly thrown in jail. Rose's interest might be overlooked as a school girl's crush. And may be forgotten, but knowing her she might just stand up for our love and get herself thrown in jail along with me.

But not in the same cell because that's still "against the rules". And that simple thought scared me more than anything ever could. My future might be over after this trial.

The thought haunted me even after I claimed Rose's clothes and went to bed that night.

The next day I hurried and got dressed, packing my Court attire as well as a few dark clothing. My hair was still damp from my quick shower as I made my way to the plane's departure station. I wouldn't be surprised if the long loose strands turned into icicles by the time I got there in this weather.

As usual I got there before everyone else. Well except for the pilot George and his attendants. They each smiled and nodded at me as I walked over to them with a suitcase in one hand and my duster in the other. I didn't bother putting it on because I was in a rush to get here early.

"Belikov, early as usual." George said. I smiled at him and handed my back over to his attendant's outstretched arm.

She took it from me and walked towards the back of the plane and loaded it in. As I turned around to face the campus I noticed several other guardians walking towards me. They were the ones from Victor's attack, so I wasn't surprised when I noticed they too had bags.

As they neared they handed them over to the other two attendants and boarded.

I stood out in the cold, wanting to talk to Rose before we got on. Soon enough, after the jet's engine turned on and everyone was boarded, Rose showed up with Eddie, and in tow: Christian and Lissa.

A few guardians still lingered towards the plane's steps. I didn't feel like being so close so I stood off to the side. Waiting for Rose to notice me, like I knew she would.

When she did spot me she literally ran up to me, sorrow filled those dark eyes, making my heart ache to hold her. The events from yesterday rushed back to me making my heart hurt even more when I realized why she was so upset.

"I'm sorry." She gulped out. "I'm so sorry."

I maintained my guardian mask as I turned to fully face her. "Sorry for what?"

"For all the horrible things I said yesterday. You did it-you really did it. You got them to let us go."

The pride that flashed in her eyes and on her face made my heart nearly break. I wish I could be able to say that I had gotten them here. But in reality I didn't, Adrian did and I despised him every moment I was reminded of it.

I could feel my hands clutching at the memory of Adrian waltzing into the Guardian's building and getting a yes out of Alberta one time while I've been trying for weeks.

But through all this pain I managed to keep my face as hard as stone, I didn't want to hurt her any more than my words would. "It wasn't me, Rose. I had nothing to do with it."

Her face fell at that and the sight of this made my heart sing in sadness. Alberta signaled for us to board and leave. I took that as my cue and was happy I didn't have to witness Rose's crumbling face as I walked towards the jet.

Sighing I picked up my pace, shivering, but not from the cold this time, but from the fact that I had disappointed Rose. And as I took my seat next to Alberta on the plane I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness. I never wanted to witness that expression on Rose ever again. She deserved better.

As the plane took off I vowed to myself that I would never disappoint her again. I also silently promised myself as the plane was in the air that I would never ever be the cause for that expression to come up on her face again.

Chapter 13:

I glanced out the window as the plane flew through the air. Although I couldn't see anything I was reminded of the first time I met Rose. She too looked out the window and ignored what the person next to her was trying to say.

I wasn't ignoring Alberta parse but I was trying my best to keep things blunt and to the point. I had a lot of things on my mind and I just wanted time to think. Alberta must have guessed this halfway through our conversation because she stopped talking and resorted to leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

I sighed out of relief and returned back to the blackened window. My heart still ached at the disappointment I had caused Rose. It was like her face was sketched on the inside of my eyelids. So whenever I blinked I'd see that memory and I would cringe a little.

I never thought I'd feel this much pain before. And I never realized I cared about someone's respect and honor for me as much as I did now; especially when it involved Rose. To see her face fall like that was like her saying she didn't love me. Which I hoped too, would never come out of her mouth.

I sighed again and placed my hand under my chin, my eyes awake and alert, despite my shortened sleep last night. When I was about to lean back I heard her voice from a row behind me and to the right.

"Adrian." She said; her voice seemed to be full of pain and not mental either. My heart leapt at the thought because if it was I knew I wouldn't stop blaming myself for it.

Adrian kept talking, although I didn't know what about. I was more focused on the way Rose said his name.

"Adrian." She repeated, only this time with more force and much more pain. My heart gave another leap at the sound. And it had something to do with the fact that she was in pain this time.

I leaned forward a little, trying to catch what Adrian was saying. It could have been offensive for all I knew. My fingers thrummed softly on my legs as I tried to look like I wasn't eavesdropping.

"And then a slit up the side to show off what great legs you have. It could go nearly to the hip and have this cute little bow-"

My fingers clinched so tight my knuckles turned white. And that was saying something considering my naturally tanned skin. I tried to keep my posture composed; I didn't need Alberta thinking something was off by the way I was reacting to Adrian's words. Considering everyone knew Moroi guys hit on dhampir girls all the time, and normally we never thought about it much at school. But this wasn't any other dhampir. It was my dhampir girl being hit on.

"Adrian!" Adrian stopped in mid-sentence as Rose's voice rose to a scream. It was loud enough for the pilot to hear I'm sure. We all jumped, and I tried to hide a smile playing at my lips from the look on Adrian's face. "Will you shut the hell up for five seconds?"

Alberta shot up, the air stirring violently at her rapid movement. I followed her; and my feet nearly gave underneath me from standing up too fast. "Rose," she exclaimed. "What's going on?"

I turned so I could see Rose's face. And when I did a new emotion drowned out the others pressing against my chest.

She gritted her teeth and rubbed her forehead. "I have the worst fucking headache in the world, and he won't shut up." The way she cursed told me she didn't even realize she had just sworn in front of an instructor. Her face held a hint of surprise a moment later.

She winced in pain and the emotion faded. It was like something was physically pushing her. Guardian instincts kicked in as I hastily looked around the plane for eyes ringed with red. But I saw none so I resorted back to Rose's pain filled face.

"God, why won't it go away?" Her voice was barely over a whisper but I heard it, and it made my heart race even faster. I was starting to think I'd get a heart attack soon if it didn't stop.

Alberta looked at her confused and opened her mouth to respond, but Christian beat her to it. "She hasn't eaten today. She was really hungry earlier."

Alberta's face was filled with concern, as she moved closer to Rose. I hovered behind her, not wanting to interfere with the head Guardian's conversation, well… unless I had to.

Rose met my eyes for a second before glancing around at the air like something was there. I looked around the plane again but didn't notice anything wrong with it. And when I looked back down at Rose she blinked rapidly, and a wash of relief fell over her face as she looked back up at Alberta. Her eyes just grazing mine for a moment.

Alberta turned to one of the flight attendants. "Can you get her something to eat? And find a painkiller"

I would have stayed quiet if it wasn't that look on Rose's face. It was like she was lost and scared at the same time, my heart sang for the millionth time today as I tried to keep myself as composed as possible. "Where's it at? The pain?"

Her eyes met mine, and my heart sped up even more. "It's a headache…I'm sure it'll go away…" I gave her a stern look, knowing she would take that as a hint that that wasn't good enough. With as much snarkiness as she could muster she pointed to her forehead. "It's like something pushing on my skull. And there's pain kind of behind my eyes. I keep feeling like…well, it's like I've got something in my eye. I think I'm seeing a shadow or something. Then I blink and it's gone."

I opened my mouth to tell her what it was but Alberta beat me to it. "Ah, that's a migraine symptom-having vision problems. It's called an aura. People sometimes get it before the headache sets in."

"An aura?" Rose asked startled. She glanced up at Adrian who was kneeling on his seat so he could look over the headrest at her. And by the way he was holding himself I could tell he was drunk. I shook my head in disappointment at that.

"Not that kind," he said, a small smile turning up his lips. The way he was looking at her didn't seem right to me, and for some reason my fingers clinched, for the second time on this plain trip, making a tight fist. "Same name. Like Court and court. Migraine auras are images and light you see when a migraine's coming on. They have nothing to do with the auras around people I see. But I tell you…the aura I can see…the one around you …wow." His expression changed from being interested in her to curiosity. My fingers started to ache as I forced them back open. The blood circulating back into them hurt a little but I ignored the pain.

I glanced back at Rose. "Black?"

"And then some. It's obvious even after all the drinks I've had. Never seen anything like it."

She stared at him like she didn't comprehend what he was saying, but soon forgot all about it when the flight attendant returned with a banana, a granola bar, and some ibuprofen. Which she inhaled the moment it was handed to her. She then propped a pillow up against the window; closing her eyes.

I returned to my seat after making Alberta switch with me. If something happened like that again I wanted to be the first one there.

I found myself continually glancing back at Rose as if she was going to have a sudden outburst again. But when it didn't come after an hour, I pulled out my old battered western book and settled into my seat for the long flight.

Chapter 14:

We stepped off the plane and were immediately hit with wet, blustery weather. Sleet cracked into us, far worse than the flaky white snow falling back in Montana. We were on the East Coast now, or well, close to it. The queen's court was in Pennsylvania, near the Pocono Mountains, I had been there several times, and even had worked there for a few years before being moved to St. Vladimir's.

The runway we'd landed on was part of the Court's property, so we were already behind wards. It was just like the Academy's small landing strip. In fact, in many ways, the Royal Court was laid out exactly like the school. It was what they told humans the compound was, actually. The Court was a collection of buildings, beautiful and ornate, spreading across well-tended grounds adorned with trees and flowers. At least, the land would be adorned with them when spring came, like I remembered.

We were met by a group of five guardians, all dressed in black pants and matching coats, with white shirts underneath. They weren't uniforms exactly, but custom usually dictated that for formal occasions, guardians wear some sort of nice ensemble. By comparison, in our regular outfits: jeans and T-shirts, our group looked like somebody's poor relations.

The guardians immediately looked in Alberta's and my direction. Nodding before going through the regular formalities, which after everyone became relaxed and friendly. We were all eager to get in out of the cold, our escorts led us toward the buildings

I quickly shook the thought away as I sat down on one of the overly plush chairs in my room. With nothing else to do but, well… nothing, I decided to pull out the battered old western I had been reading on the plane and I continued reading that.

I had just begun the last chapter when I heard a knock at the door. I set my book down and looked around the room. Instincts telling me to check and make sure no Strigoi, or humans, are hiding out in my room, waiting for the kill.

I shook my head at that, I was in the Court, I had to stop thinking like I would at the Academy. As I neared the door I could smell a fait familiar smell that got my heart racing. I smoothed out my shirt before opening the door.

I took one look at her and my heart almost busted out of my chest. I was immediately reminded of the night when Victor had put that lust charm on us. I took a step back, and pretended to look surprised as I opened the door wider. Ready for her to attack.

"I have to talk to you," she said. And I stepped away allowing her to fully come in.

"V.D.-"

I interrupted her, knowing those initials. I had gotten a letter from those same initials years ago when he had asked me to be his daughter's future guardian. And this had been before I even knew about Rose and Lissa. I had turned him down that time, even though he was a royal, and at the time, a really nice Moroi. I had other plans and intentions at the time, and had told him I had my own Moroi to look after.

The note that she had handed me claimed that he was going to tell on us at his Trial. And I didn't want to believe any word of it. My heart quickened once again.

"Yeah, I know," I said. I handed the note back to her. "Victor Dashkov."

"What are we going to do? I mean, we talked about this, but now he really is saying he's going to sell us out."

I glanced out the open window, not knowing what to think. I knew she was right, and if that happened my career as a future guardian for Lissa would be over. And I don't know what I would do if that actually happened.

My thoughts raced as I tried to come up with a strategic plan of getting us out of this mess. My mind assessed every angle of what was soon to come. I have done a lot of stupid things in my years at the Academy, but nothing as stupid as what I was about to do.

I took a deep breath and without looking at her, I pulled out my cell phone. She gave me a questioning look. "Give me a moment."

She walked away from me as I walked towards the window. I was preparing to walk right into a death trap, right into the spiders lair and I wasn't a hundred percent sure that I was ready for it. But for Rose, I'd do almost anything.

After talking to the head guardian of the prison here I hung up and faced Rose.

"What's going on?" She asked after I finished.

"I'll let you know soon. For now, we have to wait."

"Great. My favorite thing to do."

I dragged an armchair up and sat opposite of her. I didn't want our emotions for each other to get the best of us. And the smell of her so close to me made my whole skin crawl. And my fingers had begun to itch to touch that hair of hers.

She picked up the western novel I had been reading. "Why do you read these?"

"Some people read books for fun." I said. I chose my words carefully. Afraid that if I said the wrong thing, the air between us would spark and things would get… complicated.

"Hey, watch the dig. And I do read books. I read them to solve mysteries that threaten my best friend's life and sanity. I don't think reading this cowboy stuff is really saving the world like I do."

I took the book from her and flipped it over, the scenes in it flashing through my head as I re-read the description. "Like any book, it's an escape. And there's something… mmm. I don't know. Something appealing about the Old West. No rules. Everyone just lives by their own code. You don't have to be tied down by other's ideas of right and wrong in order to bring justice."

"Wait," Rose interrupted me with a soft laugh. "I thought I was the one who wanted to break rules."

"I didn't say I wanted to. Just that I can see the appeal."

"You can't fool me, comrade. You want to put on a cowboy hat and keep lawless bank robbers in line."

I tried to ignore my racing heart. I was beginning to wonder if the death of me would be caused by a heart attack. "No time. I have enough trouble keeping you in line."

She grinned, and I was reminded when we cleaned the church, before the fight. The air between us felt easy, comfortable. It was a lot like the old days when we'd first begun training together, way back before everything had gotten so complicated in our relationship.

Seeing her like that made a pang of sadness rise in my chest. I had really wanted to make her happy, and I couldn't even get her here. And what's worse is that Adrian did and I didn't. The real reason why she was happy was because of him, not me. I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"For what? Reading cheesy novels?"

"For not being able to get you here. I feel like I let you down." My face fell a little, I knew it showed the emotion I felt, and for the first time I let Rose get a glimpse at it before I put my best impression of a statue.

She was speechless for a moment as she stared at me with wide dark eyes. Her face fell as she continued to stare at me.

"You didn't," she said. "I acted like a total brat. You've never let me down before. You didn't let me down with this."

My emotions burst and I felt grateful she had said that. Because I didn't know how I would live with myself if I knew I had caused her that much pain. The guilt would have eaten me alive.

I was about to tell her how much this meant to me. How much she meant to me, but instead, my phone rang.

I spoke in Russian to the guardian on the other end so Rose wouldn't get any ideas too quickly. After I finished I stood up. "All right, let's go."

"Where?"

"To see Victor Dashkov."

Chapter 15:

"Why are we doing this?" Rose whispered as we walked down the hall toward Victor's cell. The place was designed with marble floors and stark white walls. There were no windows and it felt more like a hospital than an actual prison. "You think we can talk him out of it?"

That had been my plan originally but, unfortunately given Victor's stubbornness, it wasn't likely. I shook my head. "If victor wanted to take revenge on us, he'd just do it without any warning. He doesn't do things without a reason. The fact that he told you first means he wants something, and now we're going to find out what it is."

We reached Victors cell. He was the only prisoner currently being held. And like the rest of the facility, his room reminded me more of a hospital. Everything was clean, bright, and sterile-and very bare. It was a place without any sort of stimulus or distraction whatsoever. The cell had silver bars that looked very hard to break, which was the most important part.

Victor sat in a chair, idly examining his nails. It had been three months since our last meeting, and seeing him again made my hands ache for a weapon. And for the first time I wasn't surprised at that feeling, in fact I welcomed it because it was the one thing I wanted most.

One of the hardest things of all was seeing him look so healthy and young. He'd bought that health by torturing Lissa. If his disease had run its normal course, he might be dead by now.

He had receding black hair, with only the slightest touch of silver. He was in his forties and had a regal, almost handsome cut to his face. He glanced up at our approach. Eyes the same pale jade as Lissa's. The Dragomir and Dashkov families had a lot of intertwined history. A smile lit his face.

"Oh my. This is a treat. Lovely Rosemarie, practically an adult now." His eyes flicked in my direction. "Of course, some have been treating you that way for quite a while."

I could feel her tense at my side as she pressed her face to the bars. "Stop screwing with us, you son of a bitch. What do you want?"

I put a gentle hand on her shoulder and pulled her back. I didn't need guardians to come down and "eavesdrop" on our conversation. "Easy, Rose."

She took a deep breath and then slowly stepped backward. Victor straightened up in his chair and laughed.

"After all this time, your cub still hasn't learned ay control. But then, maybe you never wanted her to." His eyes were piercing as he stared at me like I was a huge threat.

"We aren't here to banter," I said as calmly as I could. "You wanted to lure Rose over, and now we need to know why."

"Does there have to be some sinister reason? I just wanted to know how she was doing, and something tells me we aren't going to have a chance for any friendly chats tomorrow." The smirk that stayed on his face made me want to strangle him. And I deeply wished I had the chance like I did when my rescue team and I had saved Lissa.

"We're not going to have a friendly chat now," Rose growled. I knew her to be ruthless and cruel. But never before had I heard her voice take that deep of a tone.

Victor wasn't moved by her threat. "You think I'm joking, but I'm not. I really do want to know how you're doing. You've always been a fascinating subject to me, Rosemarie. The only Shadow-kissed person we know of. I told you before, that isn't the kind of thing you walk away from unscathed. There's no way you can quietly sink into the regimented routine of academic life. People like you aren't meant to blend in."

"I'm not some kind of science experiment."

Victor continued, acting as if Rose hadn't said a word. "What's it been like? What have you noticed?"

I didn't like the way he was observing her as if she were a lab rat. My pulse quickened as my fingers began to throb for a weapon. "There's no time for this. If you don't get to the point," I warned, "we're going to leave."

My voice remained calm, throughout all the exploding emotions running through me. Rose leaned forward and gave Victor a cold smile. "There's no way they'll let you off tomorrow. I hope you enjoy prison. I bet it'll be great once you get sick again-and you will, you know."

Victor regarded her levelly, still with that amused look. "All things die, Rose. Well, except for you, I suppose. Or maybe you are dead. I don't know. Those who visit the world of the dead can probably never fully shake their connection to it."

That made Rose pause. I glanced down at her, wondering what she would come up with because I honestly didn't know what to say to that. What could I say? I didn't know anything about death, other than causing it. But that wasn't even close to what she has experienced.

Victor must had sensed this too because he gave her a speculative look. "Yes? There's something you'd like to say?"

She swallowed hard and looked at him as seriously as she could. "What is the world of the dead? Is it heaven or hell?"

"Neither," he said.

"What lives there?" She exclaimed. "Ghosts? Will I go back? Do things come out of it?"

I looked at her curiously. The way she was talking made it sound like she knew what it was like to be on the other side. Except the incident where she had died.

Victor was taking great pleasure in Rose having to come to him for information. His smirk intensified.

"Well, clearly some things come out of it, because here you stand before us."

I saw that familiar flicker in his eyes that made my hatred for him heat up inside my chest. "He's baiting you, let it go."

Victor gave me a brief glare. "I'm helping her." He turned back to Rose. "Honestly? I don't know that much about it. You're the one who has been there, rose. Not me. Not yet. Someday, you'll probably be the one educating me. I'm sure the more you deal death out, the closer you'll become to it."

I could see his face turn into something else. As if he was thriving for Rose to ask him another question. And it was really starting to get under my skin. "Enough, we're going."

"Wait, wait," said Victor, voice congenial. "You haven't told me about Vasilisa yet."

I had one had on Rose now, but his words made every muscle under my hand tense as she whipped around and moved forward again. "Stay away from her. She doesn't have anything to do with this." Rose's voice had taken on that same dark tone and it made me want to step back.

Victor on the other hand gave her a dry look. "Seeing as I'm locked away here, I have no choice but to stay away from her, my dear. And you're wrong-Vasilisa has everything to do with everything."

"That's it," Rose said, suddenly getting something. "That's why you sent the note. You wanted me here because you wanted to know about her, and you knew there was no way she'd come talk to you herself. You had nothing to blackmail her with."

"Blackmail's an ugly word."

"There's no way you're going to see her-at least outside of the courtroom. She's never going to heal you. I told you. You're going to get sick again, and you're going to die. You're going to be the one sending me postcards from the other side."

"You think that's what this is about? You think my needs are that petty?" The mockery was gone, replaced by a feverish and almost fanatical look in his green eyes. The tight set of his mouth stretched the skin of his face a little, and I noticed that he had lost weight since our last encounter. "You've forgotten everything, why I did what I did. You've been so caught up in your own shortsightedness that you missed the big picture I was looking at."

Rose thought about that for a moment. And after a few minutes it clicked. "You wanted to stage a revolution-still what to. That's crazy. It's not going to happen."

I stared back and forth between the two, barely believing what I was hearing.

"It's already happening. Do you think I don't know what's going on out in the world? I still have contacts. People can be bought off-how do you think I was able to send you that message? I know about the unrest-I know about Natasha Ozera's movement to get Moroi to fight with guardians. You stand by her and vilify me, Rosemarie, but I pushed for the very same thing last fall. Yet, somehow, you don't seem to regard her in the same way."

Just hearing him talk about Tasha that way made something in my chest boil. "Tasha Ozera is working on her cause a bit differently that you did."

"And that's why she's getting nowhere." He resorted. "Tatiana and her council are being held back by centuries of archaic traditions. So long as that sort of power rules us, nothing will change. We will never learn to fight. Non-royal Moroi will never have a voice. Dhampirs like you will continually be sent out to battle."

"It's what we dedicate our lives to," I said. The tension inside of me was beginning to build.

"And it's what you lose your lives for. You're all but enslaved and don't even realize it. And for what? Why do you protect us?"

I opened my mouth but Rose beat me to it. "Because… we need you," she faltered. "For our race to survive."

"You don't need to throw yourselves into battle for that. Making children isn't really that difficult."

She ignored his quip. "And because the Moroi… the Moroi and their magic are important. They can do amazing things."

Victor threw his hands up in exasperation. And I flinched, automatically thinking he was going to hurt Rose. "We used to do amazing things. Humans used to revere us as gods, but over time, we grew lazy. The advent of technology made our magic more and more obsolete. Now, all we do is parlor tricks."

"If you have so many ideas," I interrupted, my hatred for him sparking every part of my body, "then do something useful in prison and write a manifesto."

"And what's this have to do with Lissa anyway?" Rose asked.

"Because Vasilisa is a vehicle for change."

Rose stared incredulously. "You think she's going to lead your revolution?"

"Well, I'd prefer that I lead it-someday. But, regardless, I think that she's going to be part of it. I've heard about her too. She's a rising star-still young, certainly, but people are taking notice. All royals aren't created equal, you know. The Dragomir symbol is a dragon, the king of the beasts. Likewise, the Dragomir blood has always been powerful-that's why the Strigoi have targeted them so consistently. A Dragomir returning to power is no small thing-particularly one such as her. My impression from the reports is that she must have mastered her magic. If that's so-with her gifts-there's' no telling what she could do. People are drawn to her with almost no effort on her part. And when she actually tries to influence them… well, they'll do anything she wants." His eyes were wide as he spoke, wonder and happiness on his face as he imagined Lissa living out his dreams.

"Unbelievable," rose said. "First you wanted to hide her away to keep you alive. Now you actually want her out in the world to use her compulsion for your own psycho plans."

"I told you, she's a force for change. And like you being shadow-kissed, she's the only one of her kind that we know about. That makes her dangerous-and very valuable."

Well, that was something. Victor wasn't all-knowing after all. He didn't know about Adrian's spirit use.

"Lissa will never do it," Rose said. "She's not going to abuse her powers."

"And victors not going to say anything about us," I said as I tugged at Rose's arm. "He's achieved his goal. He brought you here because he wanted to know about Lissa."

"He didn't find out much," Rose responded.

"You'd be surprised," said Victor. "He grinned at me. "And what makes you so certain I won't enlighten the world about your romantic indiscretions?"

Normally I would have just shrugged it off, but his statement really had gotten under my skin and had struck a nerve. To me, what he was saying was similar to what Stan had said to me the night I had thrown him against a wall. Anyone who even tried to threaten Rose was a threat to me.

I hated for her to see me this way, but honestly? I didn't care; all I wanted was for him to understand that I will not back down from this, even if it means I'd lose my job.

"Because it won't save you from prison. And if you ruin Rose, you'll destroy whatever weak chance you had of Lissa helping you with your warped fantasy." Victor flinched a little. Some part of me liked the fact that I had hurt him. I stepped forward, pressing close to the bars as Rose had earlier. My voice lowered and I could mentally taste the venom dripping off my tongue. "And it'll all be pointless anyway, because you won't stay alive long enough in prison to stage your grand plans. You aren't the only one with connections."

"It wouldn't exactly be protecting me. It'd be after the fact-cold-blooded. You don't do that kind of thing. Revenge is more my thing. I'll have to kill him."

Just the thought of her trying to protect me was too unbearable to think about. There can only be one martyr in our relationship and I was ready to take that title. Her life was important to me and I want to be the one to make sure she lives it to the fullest. Even if that means dying for her.

But that's what guardians are. Martyrs, we die for the ones we are sworn to protect and even learn to love. We agree to protect our Moroi in any way we can, even if it means ending our life for theirs.

Art did the same for his Moroi family, and I knew he loved them as if they were blood from the stories he'd tell me and how each child was like his own. He loved them more than he could express.

That was the danger of our job. We become so attached, we start to love our Moroi assignments like family. And it's what got Art killed in the end. It's what can get me killed in the end from protecting both Lissa and Rose at the same time.

"Don't talk like that." I told her sternly. I didn't need her taking revenge. If anything did happen to me, I knew she won't stop searching till the man who killed me was dead. "And anyway, it doesn't matter. Victor's not going to say anything."

I shivered at the sight of Rose going to great lengths to take revenge for whatever did happen to me. She was a great novice, and I knew she was going to be a killer guardian later on in life. And just the idea of her taking her skills too far and end up dying because she loved me made my blood turn cold.

I shook my head, this needed to stop. We needed to find another way to guard Lissa, one so we wouldn't both end up dead in the end.

After that I left her to go back to my own room. Partly because I needed to rest before Victor's hearing. But mostly because I had a lot of thinking to do if Rose and I were going to be Lissa's future guardians.

Chapter 17:

Later that night I took out Rose's clothes from the room's closet. Victor's trial was tomorrow and I wanted to get these to her as soon as possible. Before walking out the door I quickly scribbled down her name on a card. When I grabbed the door handle I thought of something else.

Setting the clothes down I leaned against the wall, holding the small card in my hand as I carefully wrote Wear your hair up. A lot of female guardians cut their hair to show off their molnija marks. I remembered she had considered cutting it once and I immediately told her no. I loved her hair and suggested wearing it up if she wanted to show off her marks.

Just thinking about her cutting her hair was unbearable. It wouldn't feel as silky, wouldn't be the same when I ran my hands through it. After all it is the feature that got me to notice her in the first place.

I was nervous for her tomorrow, for both of us. If she decided to let her impulsive attitude get in the way I might very well be in the wall between her and Victor. There will be more guardians than necessary tomorrow, trained and tense. Rose wouldn't make it two steps to Victor before someone brought her down. And I was prepared to throw myself between her and Victor to stop her from ripping his head off. Even if I had that urge as well.

Lissa was our priority, we protect her and only her. If something happened to Rose where she got thrown in jail Lissa would be left unprotected.

My heart raced at the thought of Victor exposing us both. Then no one would be able to protect Lissa the way we could.

After calling service I got a Moroi girl to take the clothes that I had assembled for Rose: A white top, black pants, and a black matching jacket. I attached the note before handing it over to the terrified looking girl. Rumors spread like wild fire among our world, so it was no surprise that she was looking at me in both awe and fear. Too bad most of the stories weren't true.

I sighed when I shut the door.

When no one else said anything, I finished up my statement, and then Christian was called up. As I took my place in the back I glared at Victor's aging head. It was one thing to sit there and smile, but another to laugh and interrupt me.

My blood was boiling through Christian's speech. His part was short. He'd been with Lissa when she'd been taken and had been knocked out. His contribution was being able to ID some of Victor's guardians as the kidnappers. Once Christian had sat down Rose was called up.

My heart quickened. She shouldn't have to do this, this wasn't right. I know she has an opinion but she's up there, unguarded, in front of Victor and his wicked words and staring eyes.

She walked up, looking calm and determined. That, at least, calmed my racing heart a little. As she said her name and gave her oath to be honest I could see her cringe. Although it wasn't physical, more mental. I saw it. I knew her well enough to notice when she was troubling over something that she knew was wrong.

Her version was pretty straightforward. She had details to offer from before the night of the kidnapping, like about where Victor had laid his traps to test Lissa's powers. Otherwise her story lined up with mine and everyone else's pretty well.

When Rose mentioned the charm she glanced at Victor, who was staring intently at her. Making her stiffen, her fingers clutched and unclenched at her sides. A movement that told me she was seconds away from pouncing on him. I was too far away to stop her, and at an angle where she can't see me as well. The best I could do was pray.

For both of us to make it out alive.

Victor had complete power over Rose and me to ruin everything for us in front of all these people— no matter what I had threatened him.

Other than the clutching of her hands I was proud of her for staying so calm. I was satisfied that she had grown so much. Some of it had to do with my trainings, but mostly it was Spokane and Lissa's life that shaped Rose for who she is today: a woman.

When she finished her whole body sagged with relief that Victor hadn't said anything during her testimony. Lissa passed her, taking Rose's place.

As the victim, she offered the first perspective thus far, and everyone there grew caught up in her story. It was compelling; no one had ever heard anything like it. And without even trying Lissa was using her spirit-induced charisma, the same place that came from compulsion.

People were enraptured and sympathetic. When Lissa described the torture Victor had put her through to force her to heal him, faces went pale with shock. Even the Queen's stern mask faltered a little.

The most amazing thing was how calm Lissa was about it. Even when she spoke about what the air user had done to her; she had a mask of stone. But I knew she was just as hurt as she had been that night, the pressure of stares and breathing down her neck caused her to be unnaturally calm.

After Lissa sat back down, Victor was called to take her place. From the look on his face, you would have never guessed he was on trial. He wasn't angry or outraged like I have seen a thousand times with other contestants in this room. He didn't plead. He looked like we were all hanging out somewhere, like he had nothing in the world to worry about.

Even when answering, he spoke as though he made perfect sense. When the prosecuting lawyer asked why he'd done what he had, he looked at her as though she were crazy.

"Why, I had no choice," he said pleasantly. "I was dying. No one was going to condone me openly experimenting with the princess's powers. What would you have done in my place?"

The lawyer ignored that. She was having a hard time keeping the disgust off of her face. "And you found coaxing your own daughter into turning Strigoi also necessary?"

Everyone in the courtroom shifted uncomfortably. One of the most awful things about Strigoi was that they were made, not born. A Strigoi could force a human, a dhampir, or a Moroi into becoming Strigoi if the Strigoi drank the victim's blood and then fed Strigoi blood back to the victim. It didn't matter if the victim wanted it or not, and once she became Strigoi, she lost all sense of her old, moral self. She embraced becoming a monster and killing others to survive. Strigoi converted others if they found someone they thought would strengthen their ranks. Sometimes they did it just out of cruelty.


End file.
